Thoroughly Confused as to whether I like my boyfriend
So I've been dating my boyfriend for only 2 months now and we have known each other well for about a year. At this point I was having doubts and my mom advised me not to string him along if I don't like him, but I don't even know whether I do or not!
He is the sweetest person ever, is always there for me, and in these last two months is basically my bestfriend and he has helped me through a lot of stressful moments. I initially started to notice him when our friends started poking fun and I liked the fact that he was shy since I'm really into shy guys, but it was also a kind of a "I like you because you liked me first" thing. I'm also very physically attracted to him even though he is not the hottest guy(hugging, kissing etc) so it's not an issue of no chemistry. The only thing is that it took me a while to realize that after getting to know him on a really deep level that he was not in fact shy, but really(he admitted himself) he did not have much to say! yet the majority of my shy friends, once I was able to ask them topics that they were passionate about, they had lots to say! Despite liking the same things(music and kdramas), our conversations become really stale and even though I'm very outgoing, its very draining to always be the one initiating everything(dates, cuddling, although he texts me constantly) and making everything interesting. This was not just recently, but from the very beginning and I've tried to be patient for 2 months thinking that its ok, but really conversation is the fundamental of any relationship not just cuddling. Sometimes I'm just not excited to get a text from him. I discussed this with him, but it's not really something I can ask him to change because its part of his personality! I asked to take a few week breather yesterday, and here I was in the morning crying missing him, thinking of all the "fun" times we've had, then when I inspect closer I remember feeling frustrated at those times because he would never do/say anything on his own. gosh I really do care for him as a person as well and he says he loves me(idk its his first relationship), yet I still find myself checking out other guys(not as real possibilities but more like what would they be like). It makes me feel bad since he's constantly insecure saying how he has no redeeming traits and he'll lose me to some hot guy. I've had intense crushes on people before(without dating them) for months at a time and I could go on about all the traits I like about them, yet when people ask me about my boyfriend all I can say is that he's nice! I even had an argument with my bestfriend at the time when I first started dating my boyfriend because she thought I was too good for him(although I don't believe in looks etc, shes more superficial) and I was mad at her for basing it only on looks. But now that even his personality/intelligence doesn't interest me...yet I can name a few days where he made me feel truly alive being with him(when we didn't have to talk) and I felt soooo happy, and then some days when we have phone calls it'd be just silence when I ask him questions etc to try and get the conversation rolling about non-intellectual things(even though I like to talk about intellectual topics such as the reasons for humans existence etc, but he just doesn't get it when I talk about that). What should I do?
Sigh,
So confused
