Moving on ain't working

Hey guys! so umm, I'm an 18 year old girl who has believe it or not, not had a crush for the last five or six years. The worst part is, i want to have a crush! but I just can't seem to like anyone. You know that butterfly effect you feel when you seem someone good looking or the person who've been crushing on?? Well, it doesn't exist for me, well not anymore. I try so hard to like someone, its not like there is not a whole supply of good looking guys who are my type at school. Sometimes, it just gives me a headache. I know it is stupid to pine over something like this and some of you might think that i'm being a drama queen but it's just that I'm scared. What if I can never ever like someone again?

I guess it all began when I had a crush on one of my guy friends' older brothers back when I was twelve. I know, i know, it's a kiddie's crush but that one guy is still the only guy who is capable of making me cry, even though he is currently halfway across the world!! He was that "older guy" who was better looking than your guy friends in year 8 and the only guy who, at that point, treated me like a girl and well, a close friend. I was not used to getting that much of attention from a guy and i guess, I just gave him everything my 12 year old heart could give. We used to be close but now, well for obvious reasons, we've drifted apart. I;m pretty sure he even has a girlfriend, who wouldn't at 23?? And yes, i did confess to him, like last year, thinking maybe it would help, but nope, no change??

What should I do?