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Advice needed ☺️
Hey guys,
Just looking for a bit of advice. I am a 25 year old woman. I have seen guys my own age in the past however I find their immaturity unattractive. Lately I have found myself being more attracted to older men. I recently began to develop a bit of a crush on a man I met through my job. I am not the type of person to ask someone out as I would be very traditional and would want the man to ask the woman out however I am wondering whether I should ask him out or throw some hints that I may like him😉 I'm petrified that's these feelings may not be reciprocated and I make myself look like a fool and it affects my job. What to do?! 🤔 Any advice would be appreciated!
Thanks
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Is he a co-worker or a boss? What is the age difference? This will answer how to approach and if he thinks you are too young. Do you have to work with him everyday? You need to develop a thick skin in the dating world since not everyone will reciprocate the feelings. Oh yeah, one minor detail. Do you know if he is married?
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Neither! He is a relative of a patient I look after. Think he is 42! But does look quite young for his age! I understand that but I just would be afraid that I would get myself into trouble if he was like what the hell! He's not married!
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Is there some confidentiality problems or professional ethical codes that would stop you from dating patient's relatives?
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Not that I'm aware of anyway! We obviously just have general confidentiality policies to adhere to and ethical codes but none specific to this issue! When I say I'm afraid to get in trouble I mean, if he is kind of uncomfortable with me liking him or something! Maybe I am completely overthinking it! 😂
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I would just proceed as normal. Get to know him better first. 42 and 25 is quite far apart, but nothing unheard of. Just beware that as he gets to 50-60, the age difference will become a bigger factor. Certainly starting a family if are you interested in that sort of thing may be a problem.
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Ya I understand that, it is quite a large age gap! As I said I'm not used to being with older men as I have always been with men my own age! I think I might be just interested to experience the thrill of it! I suppose it doesn't mean there has to be strings attached! Thanks for your advice. ☺️Maybe I will go for it! (and make myself look like a fool!!)😂
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Good luck and let us know how it works out.
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There are certainly a lot of factors that play into whether or not it is worth the risk. I think ultimately, though, you are the only one who can decide that. The others have offered some great metrics to decide. I would say another question to clarify would be is the relative of his going to be a long term patient? Like, in other words, is there some likelihood that he'll be around your workplace for a long time? I ask because if his relative being there is very temporary, that is all the more reason just to give it a shot. If it doesn't go well, you'll at least know it won't be much longer until he is gone anyway.
That isn't to say if it is more of a long term thing that you definitely SHOULDN'T go for it. It may still be worth it to try even if that IS the case. It's just maybe a reason to be a little extra cautious about it. But, as the others have said, I would agree just to proceed as you would otherwise. If you feel comfortable just going ahead and asking him out... then go for it. Maybe he'll accept, maybe he won't, but at least then you'll know either way. Better than wondering what if.
On the other hand, if you aren't comfortable being that bold, maybe take some time. Get to know him a little. Drop some hints and hope maybe he asks you out instead. Still, if he never seems to get the hint, you may just need to wind up asking him out yourself anyway. But, at least then you'd maybe get more of a sense for if you think he'd maybe say yes.... so if that makes you more comfortable, maybe use that approach.
Nothing wrong with either method, though (at least as long as you don't drag it on for TOO long). Sure, traditionally it is nice if the guy makes the first move, but that does't mean it HAS to be that way. Good luck to you!
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