After 20 years of marriage, and divorce, I'm falling in love but is he?
I'm 42. I got a divorce a year and a half ago, after 20 years of marriage due to my ex's heavy drinking and gambling habits. I have two grown up daughters that live with me.
After the divorce I joined a few social groups to go out more, meet people and do something nice for myself. My ex's controlling behavior limited my social life greatly in the past. I feel like I woke up after years of sleeping.
In my language study group I met a guy that I became attracted to immediately. Our group meets several times a month to study together, but there are only a few regulars, most people come to those meet ups once in a while. I met that guy a couple of times, talked a little, but we didn't really have much one on one interaction. He seemed very shy around me but not shy around other women. He is 8 years younger than me, too. Things changed recently. About 4 months ago I went to a Japanese dance festival wearing traditional Japanese clothing and didn't have time to change, went to the language study group right after that. He's Japanese and I have an interest in Japanese culture. He approached me after the study and we went for a walk, and had a nice conversation. Then he started to show up every time I signed up and always sit across from, or next to me, asking me questions about my interests, how I spend my free time, about my personal life. I asked him questions too and we got to know each other. For the past two months we have been meeting in the same social group about once a week. Every time he asked me questions about my plans for the weekend, plans for holidays and I answered that I have something small to do, not to seem boring, but the rest of the weekend is pretty much open. I was hoping he will ask me out but he never did. Last weekend I wanted to check up a new bookshop. I mustered courage and sent him a text if he wants to check it out with me. He texted back that he "will be happy to". We met at the book shop and we both acted a bit awkward, just us, alone for the first time. After we left the store I said that I would like to get coffee and asked about his plans. He said that he will hang out with me. We went to a coffee shop and spent 2 hours there talking, laughing and drinking coffee, and looking deep into each other's eyes. Then we walked for a little around the neighborhood. It was getting late and we wanted to grab some Mexican food but didn't find any. We ended up in front of Whole Foods and I said I might as well get a few groceries, as my daughter has food allergies and I can find some foods for her only at Whole Foods. I also got myself something to eat, but he didn't want anything. We sat at the table as I was eating my food and he was watching me eating. I felt awkward, haven't finished my food and said that I'm done and we can go. We went out of the store and he asked me if I had any ideas for the rest of the afternoon or we should call it a day. I said that I don't really know that neighborhood but I'm in no rush to go home if he knows of some place to go. He said that it's getting late and dark and he needs to prepare for work and the business trip he has that week. We walked a little, got to the crossing and parted our ways as we took buses in different directions. I said it was nice to spend a day with him, he just said "see ya". Not even a hug. I was hoping to get a message from him this week but nothing came :( I know he came back from his business trip yesterday. Today I saw he signed up for the study group meet up this weekend, I wasn't signed for that one. I was signed for the following week.
I don't know if he is trying to give me a sign that he is not interested anymore. I'm so new to this. The last person I dated was my ex husband over 20 years ago and I was very young then. I am so confused, I don't want to look desperate or like a stalker by contacting him first again, or coming to the same meet ups. I'm Caucasian, originally from Europe, and he is a shy Asian guy, so there's a cultural difference. I'm 42, with a live baggage, he is 34. Am I even kidding myself that there's a possibility of a relationship here?
