Get rid of resentment

Hi everyone, thanks for existing :)

I have a problem with myself actually. Sorry if it's a long post :/

I just got out of a 3 yr long relationship with a guy who has been "in love" with me for the past 12 years, but I didn't get involved with him before because I never felt like we were a good fit. We always had great (really reaaaally great) chemistry but I can't say he was my type of person, emotionally and mentally. Anyway, we met again at a graduation reunion and things kind of started there.I decided I really wanted to be loved, not date assholes anymore (yeah, I got issues), and I was really attracted to him - plus, he was very much affectionate towards me.

As soon as we started dating, I went absolutely crazy about him. We talked on the phone for hours, mostly about us and all that jazz that comes with a new relationship. I felt truly happy.
I decided to move to his city, and start my life there with him. I just wanted you to know a little background.

As soon as I came to the city, I felt something was off. He wasn't as thoughtful and considerate of me as I had expected him to be. He chose a lot of stuff over me, to keep it short, and my happiness ended soon. We had different opinions, he was into partying a lot (and I mean partying) and I guess I was just so in love with him I let those things be that way for a while. I can't say I ever felt him being infatuated with me like he was before he actually got me. I tried talking to him about it many times, he said he was gonna change, didn't...

Now, I understand that what I'm about to say is fully my own problem. I thought he was going to be my husband. We talked about that, and having children. We had finally found a way to each other and I was ready to start a different, more...responsible way of living I suppose. I know this will sound conceded, but I was really a great girlfriend. I was great with his friends and family, always helped them around their house, went with him to parties even when I didn't feel like it, cooked, took care of the house, worked, gave him space...the only thing I was really bad about was coping with the fact that he is a heartless person who obviously never truly enjoyed anything in his life, except small pleasures like drugs and sex, and short-term infatuations. He never hit me, or abused me verbally, or in any other way. He was just a crappy boyfriend. I know you don't have to believe me, but that's the way it is.

After a while I started to become cynical and a little bitter, I started acting out like "I don't care what he does, I'll do what I want". What can I say, I just didn't know how to handle the situation better. As you might suspect, the whole thing crumbled down within the last year and we are now finally broken up. I have to say he did the whole "I'll make her mad so that she breaks up with me, so I don't have to do it". He said he wanted to f*** other women...2 days after he made plans about us moving together in a different city (his initiative). I, naturally, wanted to sort it out cause I don't like having unfinished business, so we are in good terms sort of. We still live together, because of the lease...He seems very very fine with us being over. I'm fine too, but I break every once in a while. I mean, we've spent three years together, don't I deserve a single tear, a single confession, a single drunk text message or something? I know I'm being selfish but I just feel I've wasted 3 years of my life on a lie.

To be objective, he is not the worst guy- he will help people if they need something (depends on who it is :D ), he's responsible at his parents house and stuff like that. Just when it comes to me he hasn't shown the slightest interest in trying to make things work. I am very upset about that. He made me believe I was the love of his life, but he didn't treat me like one. I resent him greatly and think he's a crappy person. I know that this is something I have to deal with on my own, but I just can't get these thoughts out of my head. It;s not his fault he is like that, it's not his fault I'm not ok with him being the way it is, and I shouldn't have tried so hard to change him...I know this...but I still have this feeling of resentment and disgust whenever I walk into the house...

tldr:
Broke up with bf od 3 years, feel like he never really loved me even though I was supposedly the love of his life, feel I've wasted 3 years of my life on a lie and a guy who never really was worth my time. I resent him and feel like I want to slap him when I see him. Any advice on how not to be a shitty person who resents someone something like this? How to let go? And I am ashamed of having these childish emotions :(

p.s. Even if nobody ever read this, I feel better already for getting this all out there.