I'm gay, he's not.

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28-01-18, 12:01 PM
Edmund

I'm gay, he's not.

So I'm bi and I've been having a hard time lately. A while back when my best friend who's married decided to have an open relationship. He asked me to be one of his partners. At first it was just sex but eventually I fell inlove with him. Here's where the problem lays. At some point we stopped having sex and he told me he loves me but came to the conclusion he only likes women. He doesn't find men sexually arousing and that the only time we did things it was out of curiosity. He says he loves me but isn't inlove with me. I love him but I also desire him sexually and he simply doesn't. Because it was an open relationship to begin with he still seeks and sleeps with other women he meets and it hurts me terribly simply because I can't be with him. I'm lost, I love this man, he loves me, but sexual attraction is one sided. I need advice. We have talked about it and he says he can try his best to be with me but it'd be almost forced. I can't do that to him, it would hurt more to understand that he'd have to think about someone else while with me to even try.
28-01-18, 02:53 PM
pcmaster

Rowen its you? :lol:

It seems like you have to stop contact to heal and then look for real gay or girl.
28-01-18, 03:56 PM
bunnyhabit

do you enjoy when he Fxxks you, even knowing he is doing only out of love. if not you have no choice but to dump him and find someone who enjoys sex with you. i see no other possible option other than you abstaining from sex and that can't last forever
29-01-18, 12:29 AM
Edmund

You two have a point and believe me I have considered it, and I will have to eventually if nothing changes, I understand that. However I want to try to find a way to make this relationship work. I think it'd be easy to give up and say we're aren't compatible and that's that. But I'd like some advice on how to try to fix this if anything ?
29-01-18, 04:11 AM
pcmaster

Love you feel makes you want to fight. Thats why its harder for you to let go. But if guy is married then his wife is his main partner, others are just a side hookups. You cant change guy to be straight. Thats that. Just like gays try sex with women, they dont change their sexuality and go back to gay guys after girls.
29-01-18, 05:15 AM
Hooo!

Lolwut
Stop being selfish to the point of delusion
29-01-18, 09:07 AM
bunnyhabit

i offered you two alternative paths to giving up 1) make him fxxk you wheather he enjoys or not 2) abstain from sex with him.

i agree with Hooo! that you should let go of him and find a meaningful relationship
03-02-18, 07:24 PM
topazlight

Quote:

Originally Posted by Edmund [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

So I'm bi and I've been having a hard time lately. A while back when my best friend who's married decided to have an open relationship. He asked me to be one of his partners. At first it was just sex but eventually I fell inlove with him. Here's where the problem lays. At some point we stopped having sex and he told me he loves me but came to the conclusion he only likes women. He doesn't find men sexually arousing and that the only time we did things it was out of curiosity. He says he loves me but isn't inlove with me. I love him but I also desire him sexually and he simply doesn't. Because it was an open relationship to begin with he still seeks and sleeps with other women he meets and it hurts me terribly simply because I can't be with him. I'm lost, I love this man, he loves me, but sexual attraction is one sided. I need advice. We have talked about it and he says he can try his best to be with me but it'd be almost forced. I can't do that to him, it would hurt more to understand that he'd have to think about someone else while with me to even try.

Did you an your friend ever give second thoughts on being intimate with eachother and how one or both could get hurt/plus the friendship? Or just accepting of the idea?

Were you secretly always in love though? if honest with self?

Does he love you loves you or does he love you like a friend, not same love you feel or same? Have you asked? His loves me but not inlove sounds like definitely not the same as you feel, maybe never was? He wanted to experiment only?

Hard to stop loving him, so can you still be friends atm?

No, if someone doesn't want you at the same level you want them you cannot pine after with wishing and hoping. You ruin your own mental state doing that.