Please help me feel better about everything
I had been seeing this girl for 2 years. She is and always was, since ive known her, living with her bf. She didn't tell me about him at first until I fell for her, she to me is perfect. She has a son but it isn't his. She's always had trust issues and her son comes first. She doesn't have anywhere to go and wouldn't ever move in with me. Things are ok, so why change it if her son is ok. She lives in his nice/ok house and has a car in his name. None of which she could afford on her own. He is abusive and not nice to be around. I've been there for her with everything he wasn't providing. Romance, conversation.. etc. She said I've done things for her no one else ever has, sexually/emotionally etc. She is short, overweight, not the prettiest and doesn't make much money, but I've never mentioned that to her. She is perfect to me. A couple months ago I lost my job and couldn't find another. I didn't tell her. I lied and said I was going to work. I started going to church again, she wasn't happy about that. I started praying alot and I knew I had to move on. I felt guilty for it. I kept talking to her, but stopped seeing her. I then found a job out of town, 200 miles away in a very small town. I came clean to her about it. That I lost my job and found one but I have to move via text. I asked to still be her friend. She couldn't believe I would lie to her. I'm a terrible person, I'm dead to her, she wishes she never met me, never wants to see me again, Everything I've ever said was a lie, etc. She was telling me awful things but I didn't reply negatively. I was being nice and I said I'll always love her etc. That was a month ago. I haven't talked to her since. I've moved. I'm working now making good $$$, but I'm miserable. I know in my heart she was the one. I'm thinking dark thoughts. Please help. Thank you.
