Dumped a sweet girl that was bipolar and now a feel horrible

Hello - Just been going through a rough spat and wanted to vent my story a bit. Quick note about me, 30, successful career, own house, good morals. However, I unfortunately contracted herpes from a previous relationship. I've never had an outbreak, I always disclose my status, and I wear protection and take daily antivirals for supression, which makes the risk factor close to zero. About 5 months ago, I was in a long term relationship with a very controlling girl, that had depression, her depression took a big toll on our relationship and eventually destroyed it.

After about 4 months, I got back into the dating scene and met this sweet, nice, but super shy girl. We hit it off and had a lot of fun for about 6 weeks, going on about 8 dates. Then I decided that it needed to end, and here is why...

She was bipolar, and told some rather horrific and troubling stories of her past manias. One of which required her to go to a psych ward for a month, another involved a DWI on drugs, and suicidial tendencies. I had a hunch about the suicidal tendencies as she had some scars on her wrists. After she told me about her psych ward visist, I was scared and questioned wether I could handle her. I had a bad exerpeience with the depression in my previous relationship that I felt it would be best to end it while the we were in the early stages of dating. I understand that the past can be the past, but the last two dates she was constantly talking about her condition and about how she was going to stop taking medication. My friend that worked at a sober house had a lot of experience with bipolar people and said they are fine until they go off their medication. I also read that this is a red flag in bipolar dating.

At the breakup, I told her that I thought I was ready, but I have some personal issues that need attention and I need to focus on the relationship with myself. She was quite, she though we were going to talk about started a relationship. She started crying, and only said, "was it something that I did?" I told her no, she is great, kind, sweet, and pretty. I cried as I told her that I wanted to break up.

A couple things that are keeping me up at night, we had sex, twice, on date 6. I have herpes, but I told her well before we slept together and provided her with some online resrouces about it. She seemed okay with it. I also made sure I was being safe as humanly possible, condoms, medications, no outbreaks. I've never given it to anyone. We waited a while to have sex, I told her I wanted a relationship. However, after her mania stories and intention of quiting her medication, I changed my tune rather quickly. I feel bad for pulling the rug out from under her. I'm just not emotionally capable of handling another partner with a mental illness.

It's been less than a day and she has been texting me constantly. "Why couldn't you figure this out before you slept with me, now I have to get tested" "You ambushed me, so i couldn't even talk, I thought it was going to be a positive talk" "I'm going to miss you" "You wanted trust, ironic" "You are ignoriing me, hope you figure your stuff out" "Is it cuz I selpt with you? Was the sex bad?" "Why did you tell me you wanted a relationship, and then slept with me" I haven't responded. I feel absolutely awful. And there is a ton of guilt, both from telling her I wanted a relationship, and then dumping her, and that I slept with her, exposing her to a small risk (under 1%) of herpes. I really had all the intentions, at the time of sex, to enter a relationship with her, but the stories of her mania were too much, and the fact she wanted to quit treatment was scary.

Should I respond to her some how? Or should I keep no contact? Am I a bad person?

For my next dating expreince, I'm only going to get physcal after we have bothed talked about and accepted eachothers past and entered a relationship, I will also need to steer clear of mental illness, I'm not perfect, but I just can't handle it.