Massive crush becoming all consuming :(

I'm a 34 year old woman that feels ridiculous even having a crush! But I do and it's absolutely doing my head in! It started about a month ago.

I'm a couple of months into a new ground floor reception role for a multi-tenanted office building. I work alone and love it that way. There are 6 companies within the building so people are frequently passsing my desk to come and go. Everyone's quite friendly so far and will always say hello and smile. My crush must have passed a fair few times but I didn't think anything. I first noticed him when he was leaving one evening. We'd had a week of snow and he asked if I had been getting home ok without transport disruptions. I said everything was fine and reciprocated the question and he said he walks home as he only lives across the park (near the office). I felt the tiniest jolt once as he'd finished speaking...it was something about the way he looked at me, and carried himself. He seemed so self-assured. Anyway he left and I was left thinking that maybe I'm a little attracted to him. It wasn't until a few days later when he was leaving the building with some colleagues to go for lunch that the intense eye-lock happened. I looked up at them and he was staring straight at me. I met his eyes and felt hypnotised. I couldn't look away. The mutual gaze must have been for about 4 seconds and everything seemed to slow down and all I could focus on was him. Anyway, that was it! I was anxious thinking about his return. He returned from lunch with his colleagues and looked straight at me again as they came through the doors but I was a scaredy cat and avoided looking for too long - although I did look.

That evening when he was going home he said goodnight, I looked up from the computer to say goodnight too and he contiued to look at me. It was such an intense soul-penetrating look that makes no sense when I explain it. My body started freaking out.... heart beating really fast, feeling really aroused, and my eyes, unable to look away from his.

Anyway... the next week he was off all week. I was gutted as I'd spent the weekend thinking of nobody but him. Wondering if its all in my head and if thats the way he looks at everyone. The following week he returned and made a bit of awkward small talk as he made his way to the lift and this is how its been ever since. It all seems ridiculous and probably could never amount to anything. He looks around 55 years of age and is partner in his company. Bit he continues to look at me for a fraction longer after he says goodnight and good morning. I don't think i've ever experienced those kind of feelings just from eye contact before..... We've never actually had a real conversation and I know nothing about him.... (Not much on Google! lol). I don't want this all-consuming crush but there's a strong urge to find out more about these looks and whether he's crushing on me too. But i'd never have the balls to ask him. There's some kind of strong "knowing" feeling when he looks at me. As if his eyes are screaming "I like you". But I could be completely wrong. Agghhhh. I feel like when he looks at me he must be able to tell from my eyes as I feel like mine are screaming the same thing. It's got to the point where I only really meet his eyes 30% of the time. The rest I just look away quickly.

Going crazy :-( THOUGHTS?

I totally get it, your focus is being with him, but there are things to consider. Have you ever thought that he might already be in a relationship or married? Remember some men still like to look or flirt even tho they are taken. As for finding out about him, sounds like he is a private person...possibly to protect his reputation since he is partners in a company.

What to do? Simply stop gushing so much and come back to reality.....calm down. I know this type of thing gives you a daily lift, but it is getting out of hand. If you gush too much, it's going to push him away...hence the awkwardness. Just keep looking good, and be upbeat/smiling/chatty. Maybe one day he will make the choice (if he is single) to ask you out, but don't let that stop you from dating other men.