Self Control of Urges

my therapist told me today psychologically controlling parents create an depressing climate that is detrimental to a child’s*well-being, with problems that spill over into the peer social world. he believes this is why i crave drugs, alcohol, intercourse sex and compliments about my body from many people to have a large social circle that was missing from my childhood.

the more i think about it i think he is correct in this diagnosis. we are working on controlling my urges but i think will be tough to change.

what advice do you have for me?

I agree with your therapist.


My advice: Nothing works better for the self esteem than a good dose of accomplishment. Achieving even the smallest of goals will boost your self worth. When you have self worth, you attract positive people, and get positive acknowledgement. All those old ways of getting attention will dissipate because your perceptive changes. You will have a happy soul instead of a tormented one.

Get involved in groups that support charities, volunteer, join a running club, play a sport, take up playing guitar, take a pottery or art class, help out at an animal shelter, help a neighbor out, or a family member, etc. When you do good for others, you will feel good about yourself.

i am way to self centered for those activities for the foreseeable future. maybe when i much older and richer.

They were only suggestions. Think outside the box that you are trapped in.

A change in attitude will be a good start.

I think Smackie have a point here. Like Arnold Swartzeneger said in his 6 rules of success -

6. Give Back

Whatever path that you take in your lives, you must always find time to give something back, something back to your community, give something back to your state or to your country.

I still think that Arnie is most successful person on earth.

Bunnyhabbit is your therapy voluntary? or were you forced to attend?

I was like you, so I know your state of mind. I'm surprised I didn't end up in jail. I turned my life around at the age of 22. I went cold turkey, worked two jobs, dumped my ex of 5 years 2 years later because he got worse into the drugs (he smashed up my car and crap), I walked away from two social circles, made new friends. I did this all on my own. I was determined break free of that lifestyle. I had hated the person I was I knew I had to change.