Why women need to hear 'I Love You' but men dont want to say it?

I'm not sure this topic already been discuss or not but this thing has been a problem to me lately..silly rite.
My bf n I been together for 3 years now. Everything was fine. He is now finishing his study n me already started working.
The problem is in our earlier years he always says "I love u" "I miss u" all that. but now i can only hear it after we make love.
I asked him once about this and he said all men are like that. They value those words so they only said it when neccessary. BUT for my case the neccessary moment is always after we make love.
Me as a woman need to hear those words often especially when I am far from him. If near, I can see him and feel the love..no need those mushy mushy words.
Why men dont understand that? Are all men refuse to say those words often?

Not all men are like that. Obviously some are, but I've never had that problem with guys.

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Originally Posted by amy83

I'm not sure this topic already been discuss or not but this thing has been a problem to me lately..silly rite.
My bf n I been together for 3 years now. Everything was fine. He is now finishing his study n me already started working.
The problem is in our earlier years he always says "I love u" "I miss u" all that. but now i can only hear it after we make love.
I asked him once about this and he said all men are like that. They value those words so they only said it when neccessary. BUT for my case the neccessary moment is always after we make love.
Me as a woman need to hear those words often especially when I am far from him. If near, I can see him and feel the love..no need those mushy mushy words.
Why men dont understand that? Are all men refuse to say those words often?

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He's just being mentally & emotionally lazy. If it means something to you, then he should say it as a way of fulfilling an emotional need of yours. Because YOU care about it, and HE cares about YOU. People DO this in healthy relationships.

But there are men on this forum that I'm sure will have MUCH more to say on this.

Well, I guess if you have a need to hear it, then he ought to say it, but I ask: don't you know already whether or not he loves you? Does he not show you in the way he acts?

I guess I am an unusual woman. There are plenty of other things I'd rather be upset about.

i always wanted to hear her say it ...

Hussain

He told me he is lazy to say that. He also ask me to understand "More Than Words" lyrics. It is not that I need to hear it everyday. But once in a while like at the end of our phone conversation or good nite sms. This will brighten up my day. and also when you felt down at work..need something like that.

Yes I know he really loves me. I do not doubt that..but the time that he pick to say the words to me makes me think twice. Do he loves me only because what I am or because I give myself to him.

I think for now I can live with the lazy reason. My friend said it is time to move up another level..married. i dont know.

its just words ,isnt there another way to see that he loves you ?

would you prefer him saying it more often and not meaning it , like a chore ?

or him at least still saying it , even if its once in a while , and meaning it?

yea , thats what i thought lady , quit your complaining and be happy he says it at least .

Do y'all not live in the same area?

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Originally Posted by mhussain

i always wanted to hear her say it ...

Hussain

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Yeah, that's me too. At least the first time it's said. I've never been able to say it first.

He's full of sh*t. It's only three words and if you feel that way there should be no reason you can't say them. If he can say "I Love Beer" he can say "I Love You"

That's not to say it's a problem, but I dont think he loves you. He loves having sex.

lol Tavs, that made me think of Anchorman. "I love chair. I love desk."

But yeah, I agree with Tavs. He should be able to say it whenever and not just after sex.

Some men are very uncomfortable expressing emotion. That is why I say it is all in how he treats you.

I agree men say "I love you" when they mean it. Maybe he picks after sex to say those words b/c he feels a closer bond to you. I noticed you said yourself that you two make love. I know... I know, it's a pretty far-fetched idea. Crazy me.

That's a silly idea! Men don't feel love.

Except for their dogs. And beer. And football.