I'm back, haha, with something to say.

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23-11-05, 04:00 PM
whitedragon20na

I'm back, haha, with something to say.

Okay, after not being around here for a while I've come back. Most of you, well those of you who've been around since at least before May/June know what happened with me back then. It's be roughly five months now and I was still getting upset over it every now and then up until about three days ago. I talked to one of my best friends, whom introduced me to my ex-fiancee and was still talking to her after we broke up. So here's the scoop; she told me that they aren't talking anymore because she's turned into a real b**** since she got with this new guy, who's a total dickhead and an a$$hole down to every sense of the word. I was planning on trying to talk to her as friends and see if she was up to being friends again, that's why my friend told me all about this because she said she's looking out for me, and she always does that, and I'm glad she does. So we kept talking and we both agreed that she would probably end up coming back to me, not meaning like for a relationship but for help, when this new guy screws her over like we just know is going to happen, it always happens to her, with me being the exception.
Just wanted to share that will all of those who know my situation.

Okay, so here's what's going on with me and why I need some help here.
My friend Maggie, my other best friend from Colorado Springs, I've been spending a lot of time with and talking to a lot lately. Well, we are very much attracted to eachother and we get along really well and are totally into eachother in several ways. We discussed dating but it wouldn't work because I want children and she can't have children (dangerous to her health) and she also doesn't want children because she feels she wouldn't be able to take care of them like a mother should. That's what's keeping us from actually starting a relationship but sure didn't keep us 'off' eachother. Well, me being me, I ended up falling in love with her and I'm just confused as hell because there's no way it would work, we both know it, because of the children factor.
Just wondering if anyone could give me some advice on my situation here?

Thanks in advance.
23-11-05, 09:41 PM
TAVS

All I can say is that Kids is something to be taken seriously. If you really want them, it's going to bite you in the future. You're both going to have to toughen up and find the maturity to realize it's not going to work and stay off eachother. You can love someone but not be meant for eachother.
23-11-05, 10:41 PM
Ratfish256

You could do the whole serrogate mother thing if you guys decide that you really want kids.
23-11-05, 10:47 PM
TAVS

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ratfish256

You could do the whole serrogate mother thing if you guys decide that you really want kids.

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitedragon20na

and she also doesn't want children because she feels she wouldn't be able to take care of them like a mother should.

__________
23-11-05, 11:04 PM
Tone

What's up white.

I see nothing's changed with you, in that you still are chasin your ex. Always find some excuse or reason you wanna call her...
24-11-05, 03:58 AM
whitedragon20na

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tone

What's up white.

I see nothing's changed with you, in that you still are chasin your ex. Always find some excuse or reason you wanna call her...

Umm, actually if you read it properly, I really don't want anything to do with her anymore. Also, I was asking advice on my current situation with a different person.
24-11-05, 04:12 AM
crickle

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitedragon20na

I'm just confused as hell because there's no way it would work, we both know it, because of the children factor.

I think you have it figured out already. Move on.
24-11-05, 04:34 AM
mini696

You have already made you desision.

My ex couldn't have children either, and I want them... But it didn't stop me from asking her to marry me. It was only ONE thing, and no-one is ever perfect.
24-11-05, 04:41 AM
shh!

You are too young and emotionally undeveloped to be thinking of getting married. Did you ever get around to seeing a therapist to remedy your stalker behavior?
24-11-05, 05:03 AM
whitedragon20na

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

You are too young and emotionally undeveloped to be thinking of getting married. Did you ever get around to seeing a therapist to remedy your stalker behavior?

No need, it was me just overreacting and being stupid. I remember how I said I was gonna move out to Minnesota in October (this was said in July). I see how dumb that was, I was just out of sorts. I actually haven't talked to the ex since July and don't plan on it anytime soon. I also agree that you're right, I believe I'm too young to be getting married in the near future, however I don't want to wait until I'm 30 or even 26/27.
I do know that my ex wasn't the right person for me as myself and my friend (who knows us both well), we believe that she might have MPD.

Right now I'm just trying to sort out all what to do about the situation I'm in now. It's not like this child thing is a minor deal with me either, seeing as I've already picked out a name for my first born daughter. Also, every single one of my friends tells me I'll be a wonderful father, and that's just something that I know I'm not going to change my mind on.
What I am asking about is the whole 'messing around' thing but not being in a relationship and probably never going to be with eachother.
*to define messing around, doesn't include sex.
24-11-05, 05:21 AM
shh!

Quote:

Originally Posted by whitedragon20na

I believe I'm too young to be getting married in the near future, however I don't want to wait until I'm 30 or even 26/27.

Divorce rates drop significantly the closer you are to 30 when you get married. I don't think anyone should be allowed to get married until they are at least in their late 20s.

When you are older and more mature, the thing you need to ask yourself is whether you want to raise a child or raise your own child. That will help you to determine who is dateable.
24-11-05, 05:46 AM
whitedragon20na

Quote:

Originally Posted by shh!

Divorce rates drop significantly the closer you are to 30 when you get married. I don't think anyone should be allowed to get married until they are at least in their late 20s.

When you are older and more mature, the thing you need to ask yourself is whether you want to raise a child or raise your own child. That will help you to determine who is dateable.

I know about that. I don't want to wait until I'm 30 but I also don't want to get married now or even when I had planned on with the ex. In fact personally I WON'T do so until I've got my own life in order finally.
Again, yea, I've thought about that and I want to raise my own child, not just a child. That's why I know I couldn't adopt because I want children of my own.