wierd woman story

The ex gf and I started out as just friends.. We started to hang out more and more and it was becoming obvious that there was attraction on both parts. Then one day she told me liked things the way they are right now, just as friends I was a little disappointed but I really liked her just as a friend, so I was OK with it. A few days later we were hanging out at her place, we started wrestling on the couch and I kissed her, she kissed me back and we started making out. She then reminded me what she had said about just being friends, but said “what the hell it felt so right.”

We were together as a couple for about three months and we got along amazing, we had so much fun together. We just clicked so well, but I always got the feeling she was hesitant or nervous about the relationship. She tried to break up with me one day , because she thought I was not committed to a relationship to her, I proved to her how much I cared about her and things were good for a couple of weeks .

then She broke up with me and gave me some excuse and told me she didn't want to be involved with me,but maybe in a couple of years if she was still single we could try again , she kissed me before telling me this though , but she was calling me again a few days later and asked me back after a couple of weeks. We spent a couple of nights together then she started to avoid me and broke up with me again. Told me she wanted to be just friends like we . I accepted this and tried to be her friend, but she was always giving me mixed signals (intimate touching).So, I poured my heart out to her one day and told her “I can’t be just friends with you”. She asked me out a couple of days later. She was holding my hand for the first time in two months and being very touchy around me, she was even hugging me. She invited me on a camping trip with her friends her words were “I want you to come, because I know I will have fun if you come”
She let me share her tent. The camping trip went Ok, but there seemed to be a little tension. So, after the trip she started to avoid me. Until I called her up one day, she told me she was uncomfortable around me now. I was frustrated and left it alone.

After a couple of months of NC I sent her a birthday card, she absolutely loved it. Because I had put a lot of thought into it .She talked about doing things together again in the future. We were talking for hours again and even being flirtatious. She asked me out a couple of times and again invited me to go camping with her friends .She invited a guy she dated briefly about a year ago. The first day I was a little quite around him, but I started to talk to him the next couple of days. I and the ex had a great time, we were just being friends but she was paying more attention to me than the other guys. I thought the trip went well. After the trip I started getting the feeling she was avoiding me again. but she was busy so I left it at that.

Now, after a few weeks I knew she was avoiding me, I just tried to be nice to her hoping she would stop avoiding me, but after a couple of months it was starting to bother me. I would see her around and she would talk to me one day and ignore the next, I couldn't figure it out So, I avoided her. But she was always very friendly too me when we see each other around.
I called her to ask her why she was avoiding me. Her reason; she did not feel comfortable around me because I was "cold" to her friend at the camping trip. That blew me away; I thought we had an awesome time. She said she couldn't be with someone who was not nice to her friends. She told me I was always good to her and she had a lot of fun with me, but I was not friendly to others. I am not the most outgoing person in the world but I am not unfriendly to people.
It seems like as soon as things get to close for her comfort she looks for any reason to get away from the relationship. She never tells me when something bothers her; she would rather just end the relationship. I have never once put any pressure on her, I never talked about relationship stuff, and I always tried to keep it light and fun. I always let her make all the first moves. She use to tell me that I was "different and not like other guys."

Well, after 4 months of ignoring each other we made up. We met one day on a bike ride and spent the whole day together just talking and we also went for coffee. The chemistry is unbelievable, at the end of the day she said “It was nice talking with you, and I am glad the anonymity is over". So, we were friends again and I only treated her as a friend. I didn't ask her out, or phone her .We would just talk on bike club rides. This lasted for a few weeks, BUT she started avoiding me again. She eventually asked a friend, to tell me she does not want any contact with me again because I have feelings for her and I make her uncomfortable.

That was a few months ago, we are now back to ignoring each other again. I got burnt again, and even though we were just friends and I knew this would probably happen again it hurt worst this time than ever before.

Oh yeah she is 34.

Why are you continually putting yourself through this? Are you significantly younger and perhaps socially inexperienced?

She sounds like she has a lot of issues. You ought to cut all contact for good unless you are enjoying this craziness.

the answer to second question no and a yes a little bit. I fell for this woman like none before . . She was everything I ever wanted in a partner.

I know I made mistakes,but this has been one hell of a learning experience.

Wow! What shh! said...Forget about her.

It looks to me like you will either have to get rid of her, or learn to accept that this will be your life for as long as you are dealing with her. Clearly, she has established a pattern.

I will not initiate contact with her anymore. I still like her , but I dont trust her anymore.

My god.. I have no idea how you put up with that for so long.. clearly she has *no* idea what she wants.. and you're just hanging around trying so hard to please her and nothing you do is good enough. She seems extremely mixed up. I'd just give her more space than she knows what to do with, because as far as I can see, it's not going to work =/

We havent talked in 4 months. We see each other around once in a while but we ignore each other. This is so stupid.

Yes it is stupid... She is playing games with you.