Some advice would be helpful!

Well, for the last month or so, ive been eyeing of this chick that i like. She's great, and i cant' stop thinking about her. Well on friday night she called me and asked if i wanted 2 go 2 a party with her and a friend.. of course i said yes but i was a bit hessitant. Why? Because i havnt been with a chick in around a year, i had a disaster split with my ex i was with for 3 year's and ever since then i just thought 2 myself, i'll never find another girl like her.

Anyway, me and a mate ended up going and picking them up.. we drove around for awhile, then we ended up heading back 2 my mates place for a few drinks before we went. After we dowed a few drinks, we ended up heading 2 the party (20minutes away). Around 10-15 minute's into the drive i put my left hand on her's and started rubbing it, she didn't seem 2 mind because she would of pulled away? Well we got 2 the party and she went and said hello 2 all her friends inside while me and me mate stayed in the car ( because we didnt really know anyone so we felt kinda wierd). 10minutes later they came out and said they wanted 2 go, so we headed back home and ended up going 2 a nice quit beach around 12. We walked for ages and just talked, (i was pretty nervous at this point, i had no idea what 2 say, and if i did say anything did it sound stupid?). We ended up sitting down and talking, i was holding her and she didnt seem 2 mind either, after about 10minutes of just talking and stairing at each other, she said "come around here".
I thought she just ment come around the other side, so i did, then she said "no come here" and opened her legs and let me lay on top of her.
We talked for a little more then ended up hooking up (kissing) for awhile.. she then stopped and said " i wish u still had ur tongue ring in" ( i got my tongue done at schoolies but swallowed it a few week's earlier in some mash potato).

At that stage i wanted more of course but never showed i wanted more, i was fine with just the kissing, she kinda let me kiss her neck but i got the impression that she didnt really want me doing it. Anyway, we ended up going back 2 the car and dropping them home, i got a good night kiss and they left.
The next night they ended up coming out again but this time it was around more people, but tonight i got a totally different impression from her, as if she wasnt interested at all. I think i was kinda scarrinng her off, i kinda followed her a bit and it was so ****ing lame :(.

The thing is, her best friend was telling me she doesnt open up 2 anyone because she is scared of being hurt, the last 2 guys she opened up 2 treated her like shit and i think she doesnt want it 2 happen again.
Her friend also said, i was all she was looking for in a guy but she didnt want 2 get hurt.

I have no idea what 2 do now, if anyone could give me some advice it would be much appreciated.

Sorry about the long essay i just really needed 2 get it off my back. Thx again

She sounds too complicated, too much baggage. How is she ever going to know you if she doesnt open up and communicate? Sounds like she was more interested in your tongue ring than anything else...apparently it provides alot of pleasure to a woman...? Sounds as if she wants a **** and nothing else...if she blew you off that easily she's not interested. If I were you I'd shop elsewhere....

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Originally Posted by Outkast

she then stopped and said " i wish u still had ur tongue ring in" ( i got my tongue done at schoolies but swallowed it a few week's earlier in some mash potato).

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Funniest thing I read all day. :D

schoolies hehehe

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Originally Posted by updraft

She sounds too complicated, too much baggage. How is she ever going to know you if she doesnt open up and communicate? Sounds like she was more interested in your tongue ring than anything else...apparently it provides alot of pleasure to a woman...? Sounds as if she wants a **** and nothing else...if she blew you off that easily she's not interested. If I were you I'd shop elsewhere....

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i dont know man, the tongue thing was a kinda spare of the moment type of thing. i kinda came on pretty damn strong the following night and im pretty sure she just insnt up for it just yet, due 2 her just breaking up with her ex a few week's ago. Would it be best that i just get 2 know her a bit more, become a pretty good friend but still flirt with her once in awhile?

Anyway, anymore comments would be helpfull, cheers~

Btw, she goes' 2 school still and im an apprentice plumber. My feelings are really strong for her, i mean..i think about her all the time and just think 2 myself " in what world do u think u can get with her?".

I know she just came of a relationship but i feel as if i want her in my arms right this very moment. Ive gotten really close 2 a few of her best friends and i virtually tell them how i feel about her.

I guess what im really trying 2 say is how exactly do i speak/text her without sounding stupid and corney? i mean what can i say 2 show her im her friend but a bit more then that?

Sorry if i sound stupid but it's just hard when u havent felt this way about a girl in awhile.

Please reply soon! thx!

I'm going to have to agree with updraft still. She sounded like she wanted to go FURTHER with you that night, and you didn't follow. Personally, someone who thinks you're everything she could want in a man (you're not, she hasn't known you long enough or well enough) and doesn't want to pursue anything is kinda weird. You sound pretty clingy too. You may want to work on that.

Also, I think it's funny that 99% of you're writing is done well, but you can't seem to spell the word "to".

I'm also curious as to how old you are. You sound like you're 18 or 19 maybe, but trying a little hard to be like a high schooler.

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Originally Posted by vashti

Funniest thing I read all day. :D

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LOL!! That was some funny stuff right there...!!

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Originally Posted by Debunkt

I'm going to have to agree with updraft still. She sounded like she wanted to go FURTHER with you that night, and you didn't follow. Personally, someone who thinks you're everything she could want in a man (you're not, she hasn't known you long enough or well enough) and doesn't want to pursue anything is kinda weird. You sound pretty clingy too. You may want to work on that.

Also, I think it's funny that 99% of you're writing is done well, but you can't seem to spell the word "to".

I'm also curious as to how old you are. You sound like you're 18 or 19 maybe, but trying a little hard to be like a high schooler.

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yea im 18 in a few weeks actually, sorry about all the replying ahaha, btw if she did want 2 go further that night, did i just blow my chance's with her by not going further?

Like, she is a VERY picky girl, i mean guy';s are coming onto her left right and center at party's while i sit there and laugh. She just shrug's them off kinda without hurting them really, but i mean she did just come of a realationship spilit with a **** of an ex.
I know alot of you think she just wanted a root, but i wasn't getting the vipe at all, i even started kissing down her neck and went 2 feel her tit and she pulled my hand away. i even put my hand down the back of her pants and felt her undie tops but she also pulled my hand away.
I mean, would she be doing this if all she wanted was a root? I dont know, what should i msg her saying or call her? I have no idea how 2 approach the situation now..like when is the best time 2 call her and ask how she is feeling or something?

Well i guess u can say, i wanna see if it works out.. i liked another girl in the exact situation around a year ago, but i pushed pretty damn hard and even said, it's me or nothing..and scared her away.

Anymore info would be awsome on if i should call her and see how' she's doing or wat?

I don't think she wanted to go further with you. She may still be getting over her ex and just wanting to take things slow. So just call her and say hi and ask her how things are going and so on..make small conversations you know? If you want to, ask her to go out on a date just the two of you to get to know each other better. Or go somewhere to hang out as friends...But still getting to know each other. if you don't call it may come off as you were just trying to get in her pants.

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Originally Posted by Rosebud

I don't think she wanted to go further with you. She may still be getting over her ex and just wanting to take things slow. So just call her and say hi and ask her how things are going and so on..make small conversations you know? If you want to, ask her to go out on a date just the two of you to get to know each other better. Or go somewhere to hang out as friends...But still getting to know each other. if you don't call it may come off as you were just trying to get in her pants.

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thx rosebud i appreciate it, i had the exact same thought as you but just really wanted some advice.

I'll call her today and use ur advice.

p.s this site rocks' coming here for all my advice from now on ahah

Try the aloof approach and pretend she doesnt exist. Guaranteed you will have her interest peaked.

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Originally Posted by Outkast

thx rosebud i appreciate it, i had the exact same thought as you but just really wanted some advice.

I'll call her today and use ur advice.

p.s this site rocks' coming here for all my advice from now on ahah

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LOL, Most of the people on here have really good advice.. Good luck to you!

I think you totally screwed up by sitting in the car at the house party. I think she was just in the mood to have a good time that night but you wanted to turn things into a relationship. I’ve done that too. Now things are awkward for you because it is like all these mixed signals and crap. I don’t think anything will work. I think that very soon because of the holidays she will go out again and look for a good lay and that’s all, no relationship. I think that she will not want to talk to you about it and if you bring up that night again she will totally ignore you. I hope that I am wrong but it happens a lot man, a lot of women just think that they want a lay sometimes after a relationship but even when they try it they can’t do it. Some women just keep going out on one night stands and short flings until they just forget about everything and only remember the flings. It’s not what people really want just something that they do.

Here is how you can find out if I am wrong. Next time you see her just gently grab her by the hand and pull her off to a corner while whispering in a monotone voice, “lets go make out over here” don’t say this until you are close to the place and whisper this just before you whip her around and kiss her, don’t be forceful but instead graceful, like one smooth motion after the walk to the place. It can be an empty grocery isle or anything. It doesn’t have to be a closet, just a place where no one you know is around and there is about 30 feet of empty space around you both.

When you gracefully turn her around whisper your line and start kissing her treat her like any other woman, don’t be too slow and don’t try to put meaning or real feeling to it, just kiss her and feel her like she is some kind of mannequin, just there to kiss and feel up. Don’t go for breasts or crotch just grab the back of her head gently and kiss her and fell her up a bit. I don’t think I could do this at 18 so if you try it and it doesn’t go well don’t feel bad it is kind of an advanced move. If she stops you that’s a good sign, if she lets you continue but doesn’t do much, just kind of lets you do what you want and halfway does her part then that’s bad.

On second thought don’t do this, I don’t think that you can pull this off, its not easy to do this the first time. Better yet sit her down at a table doesn’t matter where but somewhere where it is quiet and you can talk. Sit behind her like her back right against your chest and your legs rapped around her’s get really close and ask her a general question like “how’s your day” and start to run your fingers through her hair gently and start kissing the side of her face on her cheek. You have to do this with little to no feeling but being gentle and caressing at the same time. See how she responds, if she just sits there and just starts saying things in a slow voice and lets you caress her and just doesn’t really respond then that’s not good.

What you are looking for in all this is if she lets you get close to her and touch and kiss her but she doesn’t present any feeling about it, not good, not bad, just kind of sits there and lets you touch her while she casually enjoys the feeling. You have to be neutral in this or it will not work, if you act happy or sad or try to cheer her up or anything it will not work. If it happens like that then that’s not good. What it means to me is that she is really hung up over the break up and is looking for someone to make her feel better but someone that she doesn’t have to care for, someone that she doesn’t have to put any emotion into.

I wrote a partial song about this one time that goes like this

Hello, its nice to meet you, but I’m not your friend
For on my heart blows a cold wind, from someone who was my friend
So now, I don’t say friend much again.

Good luck, if you do this let me know what happens

haha rofl u swallowed ur tongue ring HAHA, btw u must be an Aussie ehh ?, schoolies :D ? or do they call it that everywhere haha ?