Okay, I thought I would share the main steps I think are crucial to get right when dating and in the correct order for anyone who is confused with the whole dating thing. There will ofcourse be some exception to the rule, but in general I think this is a system that's workable. Please add anything I might have missed.
Steps:
1. Finding a partner
Obvious first step and is probably the easiest. There are a lot of people out there to choose from.
2. Making Contact
Making contact via approach. Best if friendly and humourous. In most cases, I think this contact should not be too obvious, although it is okay to give out well timed compliments or being flirty :)
3. Working the dynamic
I think this is a crucial step, which establishes the nature of the relationship. If dynamic isn't working (You find yourself stumping or continiously feeling misunderstood, If you find yourself continiously putting in a lot of effort into keeping the conversation going etc), I find best thing to do is just give up right here and go back to step 1.
4. Asking out on a date
Once again, I found the hard way that without a good dynamic out of the hat dating is very tasteless and interview like. And it's hard to break the ice or throw off the restraints compared to when a good dynamic is already in place and you more or less feel free to be yourself and thus are happier than if you're out with a person you only just met.
5. Maintaining dynamic at the right level
Dynamic needs not be rushed or pushed back. Naturally a good dynamic left to it's own devices will continue towards emotional intimacy. However if the progress is slow, stepping in too soon to accelerate it can be disastrous. I guess finding the right balance for this dynamic is the real art of relationship building.
6. Maintaining contact frequency as per dynamic
As dynamic shifts further towards emotional intimacy the contact frequency tends to increase. The dates continue and become more exciting then the last. However, if this progress is slow it also needs not be rushed. Any aggravation at this stage will only cause distancing and unneccessary misunderstandings. Keeping cool, positivity and understanding is ussually the right way of contact frequency maintenance.
7. Establishing a relationship
Once emotional intimacy has been developed and the contact has become more or less frequent, establishing a relationship should not be hard as both parties will already be on a similar level. I don't have a good example on best way of bringing this up (It will always defer depending on people and situations).
What do you guys/girlks think, have I missed anything?
