Still causing hell...

Hey all

I was wondering if anyone has any idea whats going on with this girl, my ex.

Over christmas and stuff she was talking to me on the phone a few times, seemed really keen to talk to me, was happy to have a conversation with me etc.

I ring her to say merry christmas and stuff, and she is crying cause her and her new boyfriend have had an argument, she is going out to get drunk she says, and he wasn't happy with it and started arguing.. i didnt really say much. She then said i should go out to get drunk with her, which i didn't have the money to so i gave it a miss.

New year comes along and out of pure coincidence we are going drinking in the same area, and she says she might see me while i'm out, but after all the trouble i had with her boyfriend threatening me for talking to her, i thought it was a bad idea. my friend persuaded me not to worry about it and let it spoil my night. So i said to her, please dont cause any trouble, i just want to go out and enjoy my night.

I went out, and i noticed her voice, i said Hi sam, and walked on, she chased me up the stairs and started talking to me, seemed really happy to see me, then said she had to go as her boyfriend is downstairs.. so i went and she went..

Then i saw her about half an hour later, with her boyfriend, who immediatly give me a really nasty look, so i foolishly stuck my tongue out (immature i know) and before i knew what was happening we were both fighting and got thrown out this nightclub, i said to her i was sorry and she said it was okay and its his fault. i went on and enjoyed my night..

Anyway after that she has sent a message to my friend, asking him to tell me not to speak to her, because it just causes trouble. She is the one who had been speaking to me, i was just being friendly in return.

Now heres where im a little confused, she says she is moving in with her boyfriend, but she dosent know if she wants to, and that he is really paranoid about her talking to me, yet she would still talk to me quite often, when she is on her own.

Whats going on, is this totaly obvious that she dosent want to speak to me, or that he is holding her back from doing what she really wants, the way i see it he is pressurising her into stuff because he feels unsafe, and sees me as a threat to their relationship. She even admitted a few weeks back that she really likes me and misses me but dosent know what to do.

Now i have nothing to say to her, its so awkward when we see eachother..

Anyone got any suggestions??

Forget her. Forget everything. If she contacts you; tell her you're not interested in knowing her.

goooood plan batman

avoid her as best you can...just completely cut her off if possible. dont' get caught up in her mess...cuz she IS in a mess with a crazy guy like that...but she'll probably leave that guy eventually...those guys can never keep anyone...

so what do i do if she rings me then? just not answer? be rude.. be blunt? be nice? i feel sorry for the girl, completely messing it all up, but she dosent realise that... she seems to think life is one big joke and everyone will be sitting there ready to catch her when it all goes to hell.. like when she cries on the phone to me, it just goes to show i'm being a mug and listening to it, even after i told her shes making a pigs ear of life heading the way she is...

from a really kind, caring girl who was into her studies at college, had a job, she is now an idiot i think, drinking all the time, hanging around with idiots in cars, meh i guess its her life, just i should still try and look after people rite?

btw her boyfriend is 4 years older than her, 5 years older than me, i am 17 she is 18, her bf is 22...

Don't be rude, but be blunt and make it clear you're not interested in talking to her.

She has a bf, that's who she chose to be with.......so she shouldn't be whining about how much she misses you and all that crap. Just avoid her, seriously.

i agree...pick up the call...don't be rude...but be very honest and blunt. you can be blunt and considerate at once...

i think you like this drama don't you? why else would you still be talking to your ex who has a new bf? let it go, and don't answer her call anymore, that's how you have to be so she will stop crying to you.

I think she's really struggling in between her bf and u. It seems she's still a little attached to u but she has a bf already. She's really messed up. You really have two options.. either don't talk to her at all and just ignore her cause u don't want any more trouble from her bf. Or like wat funsounds said be blunt, considerate, and honest at the same time as a friend. It's u'r choice. But i would go for the ignoring her and move on with life. She sent u a text anyways saying she doesn't want to speak to u anymore, then just go with the flow. That way it doesn't have to be so hard for both sides.

so you guys think i should just let her mess it up ?

Absolutely. Like I said, it's her problem. Let her work through her own garbage. It's the only way she's going to learn anything anyhow.

it's hard to get away from the situation when you're hanging out at the same freakin places!

can't you go somewhere else? that's what i do. before i go out i say to myself, "is there going to be anything that might possibly hinder the having of my fun? oh yeah my psycho ex who's new girlfriend is mean and stupid..?..."

perhaps if she's at all reasonable she'll respond to you telling her straight up that you don't want trouble with her and her guy. tell her you're not interested in her anymore. you aren't interested in her anymore are you?

dont think i am really, i dont talk to her much anyway, i dont really know what i want in life at the moment, i'd like a new girlfriend, my right hand is getting boring :(