Help with this cocky bastard

Hi, kind of new to the forum. Now there's a major problem in my house at the moment. This guy, who is a distant relative/cousin of mine, have lived at our home for three years, and he is a total F****** bastard, sorry I have to use this language but that's how I feel about him. He is the cockiest dickhead you'll ever meet, he ignores my parents when they try to speak to him, when they even point out his rudeness he almost swore at them on a few occasions. He makes a huge shithole of our rooms and quite honestly, he's only living in our house due to the fact that our parents are siblings. Our home is always like this grim place full of angry outbursts and resembles a ticking time-bomb, I fear all hell could break loose soon. Help needed

you can try talking to him...but sometimes you can't talk to these kinds of people. sometimes you just gotta take him in the backyard and beat the shite out of him.

thanks for the quick reply, I've tried negotiation but guess what? He slammed the door in my face.

Why are your parents allowing him to stay if it is true he is creating so much trouble? Is this for only a finite amount of time, or is he staying on indefinitely?

Honestly, I think your parents are the ones who need to handle this, since this is their house.

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that he is on a temporary visa in the country we live in, therefore if we don't take him in no one else would. Obviously his behaviour doesn't warrant our good treatment, but being from an Asian family, my parents know not to piss off his parents for the sake of 'family unity'.

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Originally Posted by richardrli

Oh yes, I forgot to mention that he is on a temporary visa in the country we live in, therefore if we don't take him in no one else would. Obviously his behaviour doesn't warrant our good treatment, but being from an Asian family, my parents know not to piss off his parents for the sake of 'family unity'.

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which is why you need to take a baseball bat to his head...

Maybe his parents should be told what an unappreciative little shit their son is being......because I'm sure his behaviour isn't doing much to preserve the 'family unity' either. I'm sure if they knew their son was being an embarrassment to himself and them, they'd be on the phone layin' down the law really bloody fast. I know enough asians to know how important the whole 'family honour' thing is too.

Talk to your parents and find out why exactly they don't yell at your cousin for being so rude. Is it because your cousin's parents would be angry at your parents for treating your cousin with discipline? I'm sure if your cousin comes from a traditional Asian family, his parents would discipline him if he was being rude. If your parents are being so easy on your cousin, they are not helping him, his parents, or you at all.

Thanks for the useful advice. But here's the problem, it's not that his parents don't discipline him, quite the opposite, in fact his parents give him lectures on morality whenever they can. But it's just his screwed up personality, both of his parents are warm and friendly, however in a true display of genetic mutation he is both selfish and EXTREMELY self centered. He is one of those people where if you say something he likes and agrees with, the conversation can last a whole day, but if it's something he doesn't like or agree, then goodbye and forget about being 'friends' for quite a long time. And also, anyone who really understand the psychology of Asians will know they think very differently, while Westerners will just say up straight that there is a problem and really say it literally, we tend to keep everything quiet, at times pretending no problem exists and trying to keep everyone happy. In other the mentality is very introverted and unnecessarily cautious.

Your parents, while they take him in, cater to him and allow him to act the way he does, think they're doing their sibling and this guy a favor, when they are not.

Maybe he needs a dose of reality; let his visa expire, let him get kicked out; let him see that in the real world, when you need something you can't go around acting that way.

I don't know what country you're in, but if it were here (US), I'd kick him out and put him in the military.

Ok, so I've decided to adapt this strategy, you guys tell me if it would work. I've decided since he's the faggot he is, I would play his own game against him. I will be more aggressive in both my speech and actions, if he messes up the rooms again i will tell him in an assertive to clean it up, if he says anything stupid i will tell him to shut up. I believe it's a case of fighting fire with fire.

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Originally Posted by richardrli

Ok, so I've decided to adapt this strategy, you guys tell me if it would work. I've decided since he's the faggot he is, I would play his own game against him. I will be more aggressive in both my speech and actions, if he messes up the rooms again i will tell him in an assertive to clean it up, if he says anything stupid i will tell him to shut up. I believe it's a case of fighting fire with fire.

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If your parents aren't going to do anything about his behavior, then the only person left who could do anything is you. You said you tried to talk to him but he wouldn't respond, so I think your strategy you mentioned is the last thing you could do. Try it. Good luck.

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Originally Posted by richardrli

Ok, so I've decided to adapt this strategy, you guys tell me if it would work. I've decided since he's the faggot he is, I would play his own game against him. I will be more aggressive in both my speech and actions, if he messes up the rooms again i will tell him in an assertive to clean it up, if he says anything stupid i will tell him to shut up. I believe it's a case of fighting fire with fire.

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best thing to do. sometimes fire MUST be fought with fire.