forgetting about her

when you break up with someone who was really special and they wont talk to you and it looks like you wont even be friends or talk to eachother, what do you do?
you try to forgetabout her right? especially if youve tried? when u've told her you are sry for how it was and you put up with all their shit? you give up and find someone else, right?

well thats what happened to me... im really depressed. i feel like there is nothing to do, i feel doomed. you all know how i feel. i think i was a bit obsessed with her, so it mightve hurt me more than normal. wel im trying to forget about her. i shoulda a long time ago.

what are things that can help forget? i did my homework today and played guitar and stuff and talked to other friends and yesterday i even hung out with some other girls who really like me a lot(even tho i dont like them like that) and i still feel sorta bad. the worst thing was i called her mom to clear up somethings between me and her mom and her mom told me that i was abusive and she tried to get me to promise her to see a counselor. and i dont think i need a counselor and neither does any of my friends. now i would think differently if she wasnt the only person thinking i need that. but yea. i think my ex needs the counselor, not me. she is abusing me. she still is. and i never tried to control her but i did tell her my opinions. i never tried to get her to think differently. god, whatever.

and ima give it a week before i start going for some other girls. there is already 3 that i have in mind. 1 of them is my ex's EXbest-friend. but yea.

help me forget :(

Its hard. I am no Dr Phil but I can see from your description of your ex and her family that you are lucky that you got out of a relationship with her. It sounds like she is really having some tough times as you are as well. I m betting something would happen between you two and her mother would sense her negative change and her daughter would share her one sided story. We all do it, but this does't answer your question now does it? Well I have been through a lot lately as well and I have found comfort in two things: 1. Praying( I am not real religious but I try to be Christ like and I have realized the power of prayer. PS. When you pray don't pray to get over her, pray that God will comfort you and guide you into what is in your plan) 2. Stay busy and when you come across a moment where you think of her, spend a moment and enjoy what reminds you of her and realize how great everything was and then come to the reality that you will find someone who is better for you and someone who you will make "better" memories with. 1. Thing I would not do right away is hang out with other girls just to hang out with them (only hang with them if you "like" them) or take the bad ass "player" approach and say screw real feelings and do what you want, this will still leave you feeling empty.

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Originally Posted by lilwing89

help me forget :(

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You are asking the wrong people to help you with that. The only person who knows how to help you forget is called "time". Sucks, I know, sorry.... :(

Ooh, I'm sorry.

I don't imagine that you're not ever going to talk to her again, ever. That would be really hard to believe.

Who knows what is giong to happen between the two of you, if you'll make up, or what. But I'm sure you'll at least have an opportunity to talk through some thigns. Try to remain calm and try to be as polite as possible to her mum (you usually are, right?) because you don't want there being any bad feelings coming between all of you.

In the meantime, don't start thinking about any other girls. Promise that you won't go for any other girls for at least one month. First, what has happened / is happening with your girlfriend (or exgirlfriend)....should pass and cool down before you go forward. I'm sure she won't break her promise to tell you when she gets her period.

And it wouldn't be fair to go out wtih a girl because you're trying to forget this one, not this early. You and her were not a casual affair so can't be treated like that.

yea.. i wont go for any girls then.. but i became friends again with 2 girls she wouldnt.. 'let me' hang out with, because she doesnt get along with them/she isnt friends withthem.. and i think if she found out i was talking to them again she wouldnt want anything to do with me.. so yea. she will find out eventually too.

i was thinking about writing her mom an email and apologizing for the whole sex thing and that i didnt want it to happen. and blah blah blah... should i do that or no?

Dude, be glad you got out of it when you did. I recently got out of a 3 year relationship, where we were actually thinking and planning to get married, and I got over her in less than 2 weeks. It doesn't always take time, it takes a strong mind. You could be like me, or you could be like my freind who's been out of a relationship for 6 or 8 months now, and still can't get his ex out of his head. Just literally forget about everything.

I have nothing more to say. I guess I do, Good luck.

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Originally Posted by Only-virgins

You are asking the wrong people to help you with that. The only person who knows how to help you forget is called "time". Sucks, I know, sorry.... :(

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That's what I was gonna say.

The only thing that can help you move on is time... and/or meeting a new girl that can capture your interest.

Hmmm. I don't know about emailing her mom about the sex. Unless you've already talked with her mom about it. Have you?

If you haven't, then I think I would suggest that you keep it between the two of you.

MOVE ON! Don't listen to these people about not meeting other girls and possibly getting back with your gf. She was NEVER anything other than a pain in your ass/psyche. She used YOU. Almost every single time you talked about her it seemed like she was disrespecting you, or just not paying attention to you, and I think she did plenty of manipulating (which she's probably doing with her mom now too). Don't think about her. Cut contact. Move on. You deserve better, lilwing. That girl messed you up.


sigh... but you never listened to us anyway when we told you these things, so why should you now?

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Originally Posted by Debunkt

MOVE ON! Don't listen to these people about not meeting other girls and possibly getting back with your gf. She was NEVER anything other than a pain in your ass/psyche. She used YOU. Almost every single time you talked about her it seemed like she was disrespecting you, or just not paying attention to you, and I think she did plenty of manipulating (which she's probably doing with her mom now too). Don't think about her. Cut contact. Move on. You deserve better, lilwing. That girl messed you up.


sigh... but you never listened to us anyway when we told you these things, so why should you now?

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i like you. :)

i did another stupid thing.. i wrote her mommy an email saying sorry and i shouldnt have. i think the best thing to do is forget about her too. its very hard though and i need people there for me to tell me that every now and then.

oh and here is the part i didnt tell you all-this is mainly to clynn- she told her mom about the sex and her mom told me that on the phone the other day.. well im screwed anyways. the email was to basically promise i wouldnt let sex happen again. and i love her and i didnt mean to control her and blah blah blah. i think she is worse to me anyways. its not worth it to get back in it.

if i keep trying to contact her mom and crap and calling the girl i will prolly get charged for harassment lol. dont want that to happen.

god whatever tho. should i tell my mom what happened? she knows something happened..

You could indeed share this with your mom. It would probably be quite comforting to have her knowing what is going on with you, because you are likely quite upset right now.

hey hey, time will heal your pain, really.. i'm what, 5 months after a relationship, so i nearly doubled it, she is with another guy, i still think about her, some feelings of hate, some of love. its just life, you'll get over it eventually, hope i do.. well i'm just a sadcase lol.