Just thought I'd let u good folks know that I'm finally getting over my boyfriend and moving past the break-up. I really can't remember a time that I felt so confused and dissillusioned. It was/is f*cking hard, but I'm doing A LOT better now.
I found that when going through a break-up, writing a list about all the things that you didn't like about the former sig. other really helps to make them seem more human instead of the god/goddess that you once thought them to be. After making my list, I wondered how I managed to overlook those undesirable characteristics (although some are more trivial than others).
One of the biggest challenges I'm facing right now is trying to stop thinking about him. Once I start it's a never ending roller coaster to why, what-if, why, but, blah,blah,blah,yadda,yadda,yadda. So, I put an elastic band around my wrist and every time I think about him I give that bad boy a snap. There's nothing like self-torture to heal a broken heart. Seriously though-it works.
Every now and then I get the urge to call him, but I don't. I have blocked him from my msn and I haven't made any attempt to email him either. That being said, he hasn't tried calling me either, probably cuz I told him to go to hell and burn, but either way, I don't care. I just look at speaking to him as another step backward, and I'm all about the future baby.
Another thing that I continued to do was love me; I'm beautiful inside and out. I know that I am a diva and the fact that he wouldn't want to be with me tells me that he's a dumb dumb man. I'm hot-his loss. Ooh and I can't forget to mention that getting dressed up and looking sexy, although it doesn't take much effort (I get it from my mama), and going out to the club or whatever is a huge self esteem builder when men/and or women are telling u that u look good. U then start to feel good eventually.
I've started to focus on the fact that every thing happens for a reason and although I still don't understand why I met him and went through all of this, I'll have to trust that when I do it will be for my benefit and I know that I am a stronger, smarter and better person because of it. Maybe failed relationships are just tests and obstacles that we must overcome in order to become the whole person that we need to be in order to be in a successful relationship.
So thankyou LF members (Tone, Alice and others) for your insight, advice and help in getting me to realize what I needed to and in helping me let go and move on.
