Need help convincing someone to confess before the situation blows up.

My friend's girlfriend is moving here (he'd moved and she's now going to follow) but he has been cheating on her for the past four months.

A lot of people here know and they all want to let the secret "slip" accidently and get the whole thing out. Obviously, this would break the girl's soul.

He needs to tell her what has been going on and if he wants to patch things up, then good. I just think that allowing her to move here and her learning the truth after dropping everything and quitting her job is almost cruel - something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

He has to tell her, but how to get through to him?

I posted this in another forum and the people said that I was really sweet to care but that this guy is obviously selfish and I shouldn't even be friends with him. The truth is, he is a good guy, he is just very misguided and he doesn't understand what he is doing.

I've set up a dinner date with him next week. And if he doesn't take me serious, another friend is going to talk to him. I think he should hear these things from me. But. What should I tell him? He is very opposed to admiting his sin -- but he's got to. Please help me, I'm desperate.

EDIT: I should probably also let you know they've been in a relationship for three years. This has serious consequences.

You can try to persuade him to tell her the truth, but it's ultimately up to him whether he will do it or not.

If you want to be the good person, you will tell the girl what's really going on. However, know that there will be consequences. Your friend may stop associating with you. The girl will be heartbroken temporarily. Would you sacrifice those things to tell the truth and save the girl from worse pain? If you tell her now, she will be heartbroken, but at least she won't quit her job and move for a bad reason.

You said that they have been in a relationship for three years and that breaking up will have serious consequences. What is the worst that could happen? The girl will be heartbroken as you said, but it will go away. The guy may dislike you for telling the girl, but you'd be doing a good deed. Maybe the guy wants someone else to tell. Maybe he can't do it himself. You know he's doing a terrible thing. Why would you let it continue?

I agree with Pears.

If he doesn't do it, you should.

He's slime and doesnt deserve your friendship. Tell the girl and leave him in your dust.