-
Advice needed!
I'm back...and in need of some help!
Here's the deal. I've been with my bf for about 10 months and still we are completely and madly in love with each other. He talks about marriage already too! We've lived together since the beginning and yet managed not to get on each other's nerves or anything. Yes, things have been perfect for us.
The only one thing that it's just spoiling it all is his drinking problem.
Actually no, he doesn't have a proper drinking problem meaning he drinks all the time etc. He drinks very rarely, he isn't even that much of a party guy. But when he does, he doesn't know when to stop.
His father used to be a alcoholic and there are things in his past that my bf doesn't like to remember. I feel he still has a lot of anger to burn out and although he manages to keep it under check most of the time, it all comes out when he drinks too much.
So like I was saying, when he drinks he has no limit. That means that after a few pints he's already pretty drunk, and yet he won't stop drinking. Whatever happens after it's out of his control.
No, he never landed a hand on me or anyone else for that matter.. but sometimes his words cut like knives and hurt so much. Being that drunk just makes him mad very easily and for no reason at all, so he starts being mean to me and saying things he doesnt mean.
I'm never THAT drunk, so the real problem is... the following morning he will not remember any of that, but i will. And all of his "sorry's" no matter how heartfelt wont erase what happened from my mind.
So my question to you is, would u be afraid of getting hurt over and over again therefore decide its better for you to walk away?
-
plain and simple tell him not to drink. Alcholism runs in his family so thats another factor to be conerned about, my mother and father were both alocholics both died from it, i will never drink again. He doesnt need it especially when he becomes a different person and mean to you, tell him you simply dont like it when he drinks and would prefer he does not at all or limits himself to one or two pints.
best thing would be to stop it now if you two are in love he will do it for you if you show extreme worry for him. If that doesnt work and things become worse then i recommend AA (alcoholics anonomous) or there is a program for people who live with an alcoholic i forget the name but it helps a lot..
THIS IS ALL THINGS IF IT GETS WORSE!!!!! but for now just simply say you dont like it when he drinks.
-
You will have to be more specific about the things that he says to you HalfwayIIHeaven. You have to lay all of your cards on the table because advice will vary depending on your situation.
-
I think you should decide if he is worth keeping "as-is", and also with the understanding that the alcohol problem may very well get worse. Personally, I am not a fan of the fixer-upper kind of man. They are a risky investment, and there are lots of very nice men out there that don't have this kind of problem.
Also, 10 months is too soon to be thinking of marrying a guy with a drinking problem, and since you are only 23, I think you ought not be going down this path for several years.