Right or wrong? I broke it up.
I've broken up with my now-exbf a couple of times before this so-called "final breakup" Our relationship has been unstable in the past and I know for most of the time when I broke it off, I broke it off for the right reason... It's just that when we weren't together, he would always be so sweet and convince me that he's learnt his mistakes. He visits me or call me all the time when we're not together.. and somehow and someway we always end up getting back after a week or so. I have a soft heart... and this time, I am/was determined that I've made my final decision to let him go. He's inconsiderate and have been a jerk in the past and I think being with him makes me unhappy deep down inside. Before we broke up we were having lots of fun, but it didn't necessarily mean I was happy with the relationship as a whole since it was going downhill quite considerably before it started to get better. Being with him have always made me feel like I wasn't his "1st choice" or the one he chooses to be with or just plainly good enoguh. For some reason I always get a feeling that he always make comments in order to imply that I wasn't as great as all of the other girls that he knows/knew or see down the street. This was the main reason for the breakups in the past. It's still occuring here and there before this final breakup, it just occur less. Now that I've broken up with him... I'm starting to miss him. I miss being so close to him and doing all those fun things that we were starting to before this happened. I'm not sure if this is what you called "love" but I've always thought I was never in love with him. He'd always said that he loves me more than any of his ex's and would want to marry someday but I truly don't believe him. It seems to me that he's just scared to be alone for a longer period of time again if this relationship ever reaches its end. I'm not too sure if my reason for breaking up is "right" but it seems like he still cares for me a lot. I still care for him a lot too, and really... I just don't know. He hasn't called me since we've broken up. He has only messaged me over the net asking about my day and such... Right after I broke up with him, I called my best friend and he said it was only right for me to do it. He said I was "too good" for my exbf anyway adn the fact that he made me feel less of myself all the time should be a good enough reason to end it all here... This relationship has caused me to stress more than ever... and my ex has always brought out the bad and meaner side of me... I've always felt that I've put in more efforts than he ever did for this relationship. After our first few months of being together, his efforts in everything seemed to minimize and mine seemed to maximize. We had a previous big break up before when we didn't talk for a month or so before he realized that he was wrong and promised me that he was going to "make it up" to me. Lately, he has shown signs that he's putting much more efforts than before. So should I still give it another try even though it was getting better before it ended? We were having really good times before the last argument that lead to this "final breakup". I don't know if I love him. And if I do, is it worth it to end it here? Back to my best friend, he said if you can't see long term with him... break it off now before it gets harder... but what if it'll be better from here on out? Should I just continue to be friends with him and see what's up in the long run? But thenif I do that, then I'm scared I might not be able to control my emotions or my feelings for him.
