well, my heart hurts

umm, warning, this heart paon has nothing to do wit love or so, but today i had such a bad day my heart fell in deep pain,

this pain was similiar to what i have felt before. That was when my first bf wanted to break up with me when i was 14.

it hit me so hard cause this relation cause me to split with my parent and make them cry for the first time.

Now, i need to go university and i am looking for extra income. i am working as an insurance agent full time and when i come home, i use the internet to sell things off ebay and make some profit.

but i was naive and all together i have lost a total of 4000USD instead

and one hour later, when i go to the forums of ebay, i typed out the forgery people make in the internet and ask for help.

but somehow, those people accuse me of a scammer and trying to make them tell me the ways of leep hole and to make my scam much more trustable

yes i know, its my luck. Im out of luck. Now all 4 of my accounts are suspended. including my parents individual account (we dont share the same account due to privacy) and my aunt's account. Do not know why this is happening to me

two months ago i lost my grandmother who i love so much and have been living wth her for the last 18 years of my life

i just want to scream out the pain in my heart, hopefully to clear my heart abit. it is still in pain. It is the pain where it hurt till you not breath at all. like something is stuck in your heart

comment and advice is most welcome. Keiichi and cy, you can delete this thread if you want. I am just tryng to kill the painin my hear

i wonder why such silly tings make my heart go so painfull. Any idea why?

Hey! Haven't seen you in here in f-o-r-e-v-e-r!

Regarding the problems, you're obviously feeling a sense of powerlessness. Given my lack of experience in getting ****ed over for more than $2,000 I think I'll keep my mouth shut.

Btw, I don't think the mods will delete your thread.

In response to your sig, yes.

yup, and now im back. Lets spam!!

i think i feel powerless, it is really something i hate to feel considering for the last 4 years ive been paying school fees, bills and houhold item and been doing household chores

come find me than. I advise you not to follow naza

Na I'll keep it here if you want, though its realy nice to see you back Kanzaki.

Sorry to hear of your struggles.

Just try to keep in mind it's our struggles in life that help us figure out who we are.

sometimes, i really find life is so darn unfair.

i have to start paying bills at 16, now at 18 i have to pay bills for my parent too!
not to mention paying university, working 3 jobs and doing my boyfriend's homework

worst is, my cousin who score worst than me, play games all the time, play woman and play cell phones has a STRANGER whom he met at the newspaper stall to support his fee for the ENTIRE 5 year degree programme.

even my family member bought him a handphone for his result which is 10 times worst than mine and i got nothig but getting screwed for not earning enough money

Life can be unfair.

But you have to know the grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence. Just because your cousin seems to have it so easy don't think they won't have their own issues. They might even look at you with envious eyes and you would never guess it.

tribulations like these teach you lessons and make you stronger, just remember and i knwo this sounds yuck trust me so many out there dont have anything at all. things will get better they always do and then the baseball goes thru the glass window and shit gets shitty again. just try to think and saty positive there is a solution you just havent found it yet.

More specifically, don't sound emo because then normal people will hate you.

That would suck.