To Slut or Not to Slut

I met someone that is just wonder full. The only problem is that in her word she has had a lot of "fun" basicily she has had sex with many partners like 17 ... maybe about 10 of them one night stands with guys she dated or friends.

When she told me this first thing I thought was basicly what a SLUT ( I am not using a double standard, I would think that of a guy too). I haven't slept around and I don't understand how someone could do that just give them self soo freeling in my own personal humble opion I think it is cheap.

So do you think the number of people she has been with matters that she was giving it out to every tom dick and harry? I mean that is ALOT of partners to have especially for someone who has only been with 2 girls by choice, I had offers but I just didn't feel like having 6 minutes of pleasure and having to put another notch on my belt.

So do I put a black mark on her and and count her out, or do I try to let it go and be with this person.

Do you think I will have the "Chasing amy effect" attack me?

in what condicion she slept with all does people was she dating them all, how old is she?
and have you guys talked about it why she did so?

Well she is about 21 and she said some she was alittle drunk(only 2 or 3) and pretty much all the others she wanted to ... and after she did either she didn't like the guy or he didn't like here ... she said she made some "bad decisions"?? that she isn't proud of.

I am pretty much an A** and think in the back of my head how many times do you have to make a bad decision before you understand maybe you shouldn't do that. I think she just wanted to becasue she just enjoyed getting the bone.

There is a fine line between being strong and forgiving and forgetting and letting the past go and being a plain idiot and choosing some that might not be the best mate? Or is this idea waaay off?

i understand how you feel right now. how far do you think this relationship will last. and if you get with her will you forget that she used to go around and do it with who ever comes asking for it? !! i mean can you forget about that and just see the person inside her?!!
because i think your life will be like hell if you start thinking about it from time to time, and this will affect everything.
another thing can you trust her, can you be sure she won't do it with someone else< while she is with you, (she enjoyes it usually in a long term thing it gets boring, and i feel like she likes change) and if she des it will you accept it or not. but you know her better than i do so these are just some thoughts i have i dont know if it's going to help or make it worse

Slut Slut Slut

Ummm...my STD detector just went off. All of them. All. Every...single...one....

Stay away from that unless you want bugs crawling all over you like they nearly did in that Indiana Jones movie. It would be worse, trust me.

Besides, if she thinks things like sex are just nothing things like that; what IS important to her?

So here is the question: am I just totally off for finding this to be a very unattractive charastic?

I mean a girl that just sleeps with her friends ... that is pretty slutty?

And she has a lot of guy friends so if she is with me and lets say I feel in love with her and she wanted to go hang out with her guy firneds how do I know she just isn't giving free rides to friends she has before ... people don't change that much?


But I don't want to have the chasing amy effect hit me?

What do you think guys?

what's the chasing amy effect?

There's some other things you need to ask. Like was she was responsible enough to use protection and get tested regularly or with each changing of a partner? Was she cheating on anyone? Were any of these encounters with complete strangers?

I mean, some people really do just like to "have fun" (ie have sex) and don't want a relationship for a while. I think if that's someone's perogative you can't really judge them for it, especially if they're responsible about it. If you're going to have a hard time with it, I'd say don't go into a relationship with that person. I really don't think you should judge her for the number of people she's slept with. This is the 21st century, and sexual practices and standards have changed a lot. I'd say as long as she can name all the people and she actually knew them, it aint no thing. Just make your own decision, though.

Why attach labels to this woman? If you like her, continue seeing her.

Well, I bet she would really appreciate getting to know a really nice guy. She's probably gone out with a bunch of jerks.

can't agree more with Zarathu.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by clynn

Well, I bet she would really appreciate getting to know a really nice guy. She's probably gone out with a bunch of jerks.

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.........and to me, you sound like one more. Whatever it was that caused her to have so much sex, I doubt it's something you're interested in understanding. You're more interested in who she's slept with than you are in her.