We Split When There Was Nothing Wrong - I miss her

It's hard that my entire family was against me from the start when i was with my gf. Over the past two years, we grew up together and lived a life separate from our families. But in the end, my mind caved in on me as i could not take the pressure from my family anymore. I nearly broke up w/ her on several occasions because of family issues and even at the end she still promised me that everything would be okay as long as we finished school and our goals... but now, i can't help but feel that feeling of longing..... it's painful, very painful, even after 3 weeks of clubbing, partying, and non-stop work. I wish someone out there could give me a sign to let me know she's okay and will be able to take good care of herself now that i am gone.

awwwww..........

If I remember correctly, you were the one who was lying to your family all this time about being with her, right?

Yes, she'll be okay. Maybe she'll find someone who's family will accept her and let her in, and she won't have to live a big lie.

What about you, though? Just because they're your family doesn't mean they should be allowed to run your life. Are they going to pick your next gf out for you?

yeah, i'm that guy that was living the big lie. right now, i really don't know how my family is going to affect my decision with anything in the future. it's really tough. I think it was just the fact that i met her at work that made it very difficult. i'm positive that if i meet anyone else away from my family that they won't be able to pass judgement so quickly. But still, i feel like selfish crap after how close we got only to give it up because of my own guilt.

A song i like... makes me feel nostalgic. (translated from japanese)
Download Here: [url]http://himefreeland.web1000.com/konayuki.mp3[/url] (Performed by Shimatani Hitomi)

Let time stop like this
Until our hearts melt the soft powder snow

Love comes raining down from the winter constellations
And the familiar town begins to sparkle in silver

My love just keeps piling up like the snow
And I can’t stop thinking “Be by my side…”

Until our hearts melt the soft powder snow
I want to keep being warmed by your chest
A chilly wind blows, and in one corner of this freezing night
I quietly make a wish, that this love never cools down

As I blow on my fingers I cast a spell with them
I want us to stay together forever, like the winter

Our love is still small and it scares me
But, little by little, it is gathering power

Our hearts melt the soft powder snow
In this white world where there’s now no sign of anyone else
I hope we can keep dreaming this dream together from now on
I want to forget everything, wrapped in your warmth

Until our hearts melt the soft powder snow
I want to keep being warmed by your chest
A chilly wind blows, and in one corner of this freezing night
I quietly make a wish, that this love never cools down

I'm really sorry to hear you had to break up with her.

I'm sure she'll be okay. THough I am sure she too must be hurting.

It really just seems like a real shame it had to end and your family seems pretty unfair.

with my parents still against my oldest brother for his choice in a wife and this even after the birth of his first son, i realized i could not bear having the person i loved go through that kind of pain with my family for the rest of our natural lives. It doesn't seem fair - it isn't fair. But i really want her to be okay and not have to put up with the horrible life she lives right now.

I still have access to her email account and I checked it just today to see what was new to find plane tickets to Minnesota. After she heads to Boston, I have a feeling she won't be coming back. I hope things work out for her and I hope her younger sisters don't lose their opportunities in life because of their horrible mother. I'm no longer the support figure I used to be and I feel bad because I feel a moral obligation in the least, to be a steward of disadvantaged children. But more importantly, I feel a need to take care of them because in the past two years, they have become close just like family as well. It's hard to lose your family, you know? And at the same time, that is why I feel bad about my own family. I lost them over the past two years and it's been tearing at my heart that I had to choose one over the other.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by singularity2006

.

I still have access to her email account and I checked it just today to see what was new ...

---

Look, dude, your parents clearly raised you to believe that there are no such things as boundaries, but I'm here to tell you- you just crossed one. In the sane world, you don't check your ex girlfriend's e-mail. You just don't.

Your problems are much bigger than missing your ex girlfriend. Your parents work you like a freaking hand puppet. IMO, you need to seriously think about cutting that umbilical cord and toddling away from them, into your own future.

there's a lot of cultural baggage behind my decisions. hard to change that. as for the email thing, she gave me her password long ago because she was too lazy to read stuff and wanted me to check for anything important.

as for now, bleh. i'm tired.... and sleepy... *sigh*