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Basically says it in the title i dont really feel pleasure during sex, I enjoy it but it doesnt turn me on a great deal and I havent ever orgasmed during, its starting to give my boyfriend a complex I know a lot of women dont achieve orgasm during sex but some do and there must be some good tips out there! so any help Id really appreciate it
Thanks
Iso
How old are you both?
I just saw the second bit on your other thread. A great deal of emotion is involved with women and sex. I think you will have issues reagrding orgasm until you can get over your caution with men. Having an orgasm is throwing caution to the wind and completely exposing oneself to another human being. YOu can't do that when you are guarded and cautious.Quote:
Originally Posted by Iso8
Can you bring yourself to orgasm?
Im 20 and he's 23 I do feel totally comfortable with him though Im not nervous or worried around him
For what it's worth, things have only gotten easier and easier over the years with my gf.
At first, it was so hard to give her an orgasm. Before I knew it, it became rare for her not to have at LEAST 2 back to back.
Same deal with cumming. She used to have a hard time getting wet to start, and even having any kind of "release" during orgasm. That has since changed too... now she's a flash flood.
Maybe it just comes with time, and not so much whether or not you feel comfortable with that person.
I used to have the same problem during sex. I mean it was good, but I never got there. So after sex, I would be like "This is it?"
But then I was in this relationship with this guy who was very well equipped. I don't know if it was that or what it was, but I finally had one during! It was great! I finally understood what a difference it makes!
I'm trying to figure out what it was. Yes, I was very comfy around him when it came to sex. I wasn't as much with other guys I had been with. We also experimented and finally I got mine while being on top with my hips bent forward a certain way. . After that, I could have at least 1-4 in one sitting in that position! He also lasted a long time during, so that also probably helped.
I guess you just have to be open to trying different things. It takes time with that person to get there. But, once you do, it is so worth it!
Thanks i guess I just have to keep trying but its good to know other people got there!
Some people simply cant orgasm.
Yeah, I agree with Ellynn. My girlfriend usta not have orgasms with anyone on top. We found that just experiementing with angles of penetration, it seemed to help her. She's finally been able to orgasm with me on top.;)
I take it that you DO have orgasms, and can have them with your BF (when he goes down on you, or fingers you, or you hump against his thigh, etc). So you're not too self conscious about it, and you love him enough to share that intimate event with him.
You might try having him bring you very close to climax and then inserting. Don't be afraid to ask him to finger you while he's inside, or do it yourself. Many men actually find it turns them on to feel their partner fingering herself during intercourse.
If it's a situation where the stimulation doesn't last long enough for you, start the lovemaking by helping him to climax. (Maake sure he understands what's going on so he co-operates and doesn't fight it.) He'll be ready to go again in 20 minutes or so, during which he can devote his full attention to getting you ready. And once he's inside he'll last longer, giving you a better chance.
Ellyn has good advice, too. Most women find it's MUCH easier to orgasm when they're on top - for some, it's the only way. And, like she says, once you discover the formula it's much easier to climax in other positions.
Actually, he hasnt made me orgasm in any way yet, I mean its pleasurable and i enjoy myself but I havent Orgasmed... I often think Im getting there but then the sensation disappears, I just worry its affecting him, I can make myself orgasm so its not that I simply cant, Ive tried showing him or telling him but it still hasnt happend yet
Quote:
Originally Posted by Iso8
Ah,I can relate. Fustrating isn't it? You think your finally getting there and suddenly the feeling disappears! At least you actually KNOW what one feels like so you know what to expect. I had the same problems with other guys, and even after I ended up moving on to someone else other then the guy I got mine with, same thing happened. I could not get mine.
By any chance, are you using toys or anything to get off solo? That could make it difficult to achieve one with him. Also, maybe it would help to ditch your solo efforts for awhile and maybe you would naturally get more into things when your having sex with your bf. I mean, you won't be as desensitized. I mean, just trying to look at options here. I know it's tempting to go solo and get yours when your not getting yours with you man, but that also could be part of the problem.
Even if thats not the case, its all about being open and experimenting. Or SHOW him what feels good. Guide him along. Make sure that once something starts to feel VERY good....to let him know. So he doesn't stop or change what hes doing. (I've had that happen and boy it sucks when you feel like you are almost there and then he changes what hes doing.)
Don't give up, its bound to happen sooner or later.
Thanks Ellynn I guess I will try giving up solo for a while like you said Ive often thought that might help, he even suggested buying toys we could both use together just so Id enjoy it as much as he does! But to be honest Id rather get there without. Im seeing him this weekend so I guess we'll talk about it then!
Thanks :)
Where is this 70% statistic coming from? I think that's bullshit.
try fingering your self while hes doing god knows what