dunno where we're at

hi all...i need some serious advices here.

i'll try to keep my story as short as possible
I’m in love with my good friend, we talked in MSN (cos we're currently in different countries, but i'll be going back to my/his hometown quite soon tho..) to keep it short, for some reason i told him how i trully feel towards him. he said he didnt know what to say. i didnt push him to answer me any further. but few months later i couldnt stand it anymore. i asked him to promise me not to like me more than a friend in the future ( so i know that i can move on with my life, and not waiting for him). he said he couldnt promise me that right then, (he told me that he became confused about his own feeling since i told him that i liked him) so he asked me to give him time. i gave him time allright...like more than a month now. but during these times we became so distant to each other. we rarely talked in MSN anymore.

i didnt even go online for a while, cos I was having final exams. He sms me 3 times during these times, asking me why I didn’t go online for a long time. When I did go online finally…he didn’t call me on MSN. He always does this. It drives me crazy. He’s so misterious and I’m never able to guess what he’s thinking. Look…I have tons of info to tell…but I’m just speechless rite now. I can’t even describe it with words anymore. I’ve been hurt for too long, and complaining with my friends is no more use anymore. They all think I’m pathetic. Can anyone just shoot me! I’m so sick of this, waiting and guessing….feeling so hopeless and worthless.

Hey, I don't blame you for feeling fustrated! I mean you spilled your feelings to him and he doesn't even tell you how he feels. You gave him plenty of time to think about it, yet he doesn't share how he feels.

Either, hes unsure about the whole distance thing or possibly ruining your friendship, OR he really isn't that into you but is afraid to reject you thinking you won't bother being his friend anymore.

All I can tell you is to talk to him. Tell him you waited long enough and want to know how he feels. If he avoids it yet again, just take it as a no and move on. If he finally gives you an answer, go with that.

thanks Elynn...
u know...i thought he's the most gentleman i'd ever known. i thought he's everything that i ever wanted. but now i'm just so disapointed with his actions. i mean...i told him that it's okay for him to reject me, i would still be his friend, but at least just give me an answer. so i know where i'm standing. if u think my story is too simple...here...what abt if i tell u that i've been in love with him for 10 yrs? hah! and now that i spilled everything to him (which wasnt easy AT ALL), what's his reaction? NOTHING. he didnt say he doesnt want me. but he also doesnt say that he wants me. i feel like he's playing with my heart, and enjoys every minute of it. he pretends like nothing happen, and gives me mixed signals all the time. when i asked him to be honest abt his feeling to me, and stop being so misterious towards me, he said that he could not do that. cos that's who he is. a misterious guy. HAH!

he told me that he wanted to make the best decision, and doesnt want to regret it in the future. he's a very complex minded guy...who always weighs every single decision extremely carefully, this one i know full well. so i dont really blame him for thinking too much abt this relationship. but right now i just can't take it anymore. i dont know what else to do, whether to wait for him or find someone else (which is very hard for me by the way....cos i dont easily fall in love with anyone). i feel like if i die, he wouldnt even care. if i jump out off the balcony, he wouldnt even know. maybe he would just laugh it off. or maybe...he would be sad...i guess not because i die, but because he looses one of his admirer.
i just feel sooo worthless and sooo negative thinking rite now.

how could i still have this feeling towards him??? if i'm another person looking at myself rite now, i would just scream at the top of my lung telling me how stupid i am, and tell myself to go to hell, for being extremely stupid. i mean...who is he anyway? a GOD or something? is he THE most perfect guy? if i believe so, how do i know that?? do i even have the proof? who knows that he's just a bastard who is wearing a mask pretending to be a prince charming? rite rite? so WHY do i still wait for him and kind of refuse to move on with my life? it's not like i cant find another guy or something!

i just wish i can finish this game, and never look back. but my heart wants to stay, i cant do anything...no matter how much logic i try to apply, it just doesnt work!!!! o gosh...i'm crazy arent i?

No, your not crazy. When you want something so badly and cannot get it, sometimes you want it even more. Also, when you are in love or infatuated with someone, we tend to put this person on a pedestal in our minds.

What he is doing is logical with considering your friendship and not jumping into anything right away. I mean 10 yrs is a long time to just throw away for what could end up being a fling and then what happens when one of you realize that it wasn't what you thought it would be? Things will end. I mean hes probably just scared. I would be too. I mean its easy to say that things will be alright if they don't work out, but when it all comes down to it, you never really know how your gonna feel in that situation. I mean, I think thats where he's is feeling conflicted. Maybe he does have feelings for you but just isn't sure its best to act on them considering the circumstances.

If he isn't into u like that at all, then I agree he is being unfair by leading you on and not being direct and upfront about it. A true friend would not make you wonder and give you false hope.


Now, how to find out exactly how he feels? The only way really is to talk to him about it. I know you have tried this approach, but I still think you should ask him what his decision was. Also give him the reasons why he SHOULD let you know. I mean, it does help to have some sort of answer so that you can get closure. At least if he told you "no", you would be sad, but at least you would have closure and realize that its never gonna work. Then you could move on.

Or who knows, he could be playing with your mind. I don't know him so I can't judge. But, ask yourself this: IS it really worth all this wondering and worrying? I mean if a guy cannot give you a direct answer, then maybe its best not to pursue him.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by pinkpuca84

i just wish i can finish this game, and never look back. but my heart wants to stay, i cant do anything...no matter how much logic i try to apply, it just doesnt work!!!! o gosh...i'm crazy arent i?

---

No you're not crazy but just in love I guess.
Same thing is happening to me right now!
gf decided to take a step back since she just came out of a relationship from 4y.
I respect that ... Still I wonder if everything will turn back like they used to.

So i'm also waiting & wondering how things will turn out.
Sometimes I said to myself ... I wish I never meet her! But I can't just leave her :(

So my advice to u is ... First talk to him and I mean serious talking!
Tell him u want to know where u stand ... if u have to move on or not ...

Hoping the best for u :)