deprived of all happiness

Hello everyone out there in this forum. I hope that I can make a lot of friends here who have experience in life. I'm back here once again, because of a sad situation. I'm not sure if this is the place for me. But I'll let it out here, with hopes that I might get some advise.

You see, I'm a guy who never had any luck. I see people just fly by, with everything I ever hoped for. Ever since I made it to high school, I had dreams. Dreams which I should fulfill in my life. But upto today, I failed to achieve even one of them. I see my friends coming back from abroad with higher studies, and getting their dream life with big jobs and girl friends, when all my efforts failed to achieve the same. It is almost like everyday, I get wedding invitations, when I starve for such a wonderful life. One of my sister's friends is getting married today. She is one beautiful girl, and today she is getting married to some guy... And on their honeymoon, she will be fulfilling that guy's desires, when I'm left all alone. It gives me a heartache. These things are just too hard to cope with.

The hardest thing is, I never had any luck with a girl. The last girl who I tried, flatly rejected me, saying that I'm not her type, and then had an episode with her boy friend in front of my eyes. And she happen to be a colleague too... who I have to come across everyday. The first one who I tried, got married and had a baby. That heartache was enough pain. But it keeps getting worse, because of wedding invitations, and my thoughts about what the couple will do on their honeymoon, and how beautiful the girl would look that night. And I have a gastric problem which grows with the heartache, which sometimes become unbearable.

I'm not sure if there is anyone out there who can do anything about my life. But it helps when you share it right?

My friend, I was in your situation once.

Your lot in life has nothing to do with what you have or what you feel you've accomplished, or even whether or not you have a partner. In fact, I dare say this is the least important, because until you are happy with yourself as an independent person, you will not find long term happiness with another person.

Your happiness depends completely on your attitude. Only a few years ago I used to suffer pretty bad depression. I would look at other people around me, and my peers and compare myself against them....everyone seemed to have a better lot in life than me. I felt unaccomplished and pathetic.

It changed only because my attitude changed. Instead of being sorry for everything I didn't have, I became grateful for everything I did have. I took pride in the small things I'd accomplished, and my strengths. Because, let's face it, there are millions of people in the world doing far worse than you. Also, people with negative attitudes don't achieve anything. When you start to be more positive, positive things happen to you. Also, people will pick up on this confidence and positivity you have, and it will make you more attractive.

Stop focusing on other people's lives. And here's some food for thought: I've met many people I envied because I thought they had everything I wanted.....and the funny thing is, I've always found out that there is something in THEIR lives that is lacking or negative that makes them miserable too. The people with the most money, the 'seemingly' perfect relationships....they all have their demons they are fighting as well.

I know all about them wedding invitations. Its bittersweet. Your happy for your friends and family, but feel left out. You feel like somethings missing because your not even close to that while other people are there or in a relationship thats headed towards that. Heck, one of my ex's is married and has two children now, and I lost my virginity to him 5 yrs ago. It sucks, but life moves on. Instead of waiting, you have to live life. Find other things you enjoy.

I can relate, but I try not to dwell on it so much. I just got an awesome opportunity to pursue my dream career and Im going for it! I mean even if I have no one to really share it with, at least I will be able to make a life for myself and be able to support myself with something I enjoy. I feel at least its a step towards doing something I've always wanted to do, so its a start.

thanks... I owe you

Try volunteering in your local community.

I've found helping others is way of helping yourself.

It'll help get your mind off things.

volunterring is awesome i belong to a group called volunteer of broward and we do some neat things its a great way to meet new people too

Awesome, what kind of projects do you guys do?

Be careful what you chose to volonteer doing, sometimes volonteering can just help you realize how messed up the world around you is.