Hey, first off I'm new to the forums and took a look around and seems like you guys can give me some good insight as to what I should do in regards to my current situation. That said, onto the conflict:
So this girl and I were dating since August 2004 and I was recently dumped due to her wanting to be single and also I kept making a lot of dumb mistakes and we were fighting a good bit of the time. So the last fight we had was a big one that caused the final breakup and her not talking to me for two weeks. That sucked because I atleast wanted to give an actual apology to her for it. But anyways, it ended late June and now we are on talking terms.
We are trying to be friends. Its hard because we never really were friends before we started dating, we just jumped right in the dating thing. But, we have been each others best friend and constant companions since we started dating so neither one of us want to lose that connection. So things are going ok up until tonight when something happened that I am really confused about.
First off, the other week I mentioned to her that I still wanted to be physical (touchy-feely) with her because that has been a constant and I enjoy it. She agreed and said no boobs, butt, or "love box" (not sure if its ok to say that here). Well earlier tonight after we hung out for a little she invited me back up to her apartment so we could continue talking. So were talking in her bedroom and while we're talking I start massaging her. I liked giving her massages and she liked them to so I didn't think much of it. Well after about an hour into it she ended up on her back and i continued to massage her chest (above the boobs), neck, arms, legs, whatever I could without breaking the rules. Well she ended up getting really turned on by it and pushed her shirt and bra down and pushed my head into her boobs. Well we fooled around a little bit, nothing big because she is on her period. She finally says we should stop and sits up and starts saying it was a bad idea. Which I can understand as I am still in love with her(currently I don't know how she feels back but she has said she doesn't want to date me atleast not right now, if ever again). So she tells me I should probably leave and then she says she'll call me soon.
Now the thing I'm confused about is her initiation of the fooling around. While I was not completely innocent(I know how to get her worked up), she was the one who started the actual fooling around. I don't know if that just means she's still attracted to me, was just horny, or she wants to get back together. I doubt that she wants to get back together, but I still have a very little bit of hope for that. But what do you guys think? Am I right in thinking she's still attracted to me and that theres still some feelings for me? Or could it be something else?
I just want some feedback on this incident because frankly it surprised me.
