I am in serious problem. Need help!
Hey all,
I need your opinion on this. Four years ago when I was in high school I met this guy named Noy in my English class. I don’t know whether I should call it love at first sight, but yes when I saw him I felt my sixth sense telling me that he was the one I was waiting for. It was very strange that he seemed extremely familiar to me. I felt as if I had been with him for many years. Strangely enough, he started giving me weird looks too. And they often resembled to question marks. But since we were in the same class doing a bit of group projects, we somehow became friends. Yet we couldn’t be just happy go lucky kind when we were together. Most of the time we would just keep quite and do our projects. In between we would stare at each other secretly. Yes, once I caught him doing this and once he caught me. Such things kept happening for two years. Then came the horrific good bye time, the graduation. As I told my friends about Noy, they began pushing me to express him the kind of love I had for him. But I was scared. So I ended up taking help from a friend. She was not much known in my friend circle. Consequently, Noy didn’t know her. One day when she saw Noy near his locker she ended up saying to him that I liked him. In return she asked him for his opinion about me. As told by her, Noy thought for a while and said that he saw me as a friend. My sweet honest friend however gave me a full description of how he looked like when he was hearing about my love for him. She told me that he suddenly blushed and it was so huge that he couldn’t talk. And then he became nervous. Looked here and there and then said that he saw me as a friend. Since I was too sensitive back in high school when I heard what he said I found my heart breaking into pieces. So that time I vowed not to talk to him again. After graduation we both went to different universities. However, our friends remained the same. So every now and then I started hearing from one of my friends that Noy was asking her about my whereabouts. But you know I was angry that time. So I just told her strongly not to talk about me to him. On the contrary, after a year of my graduation, my parents bought a new house and so we moved. And this kind of made me lose connection with most of my friends including the one whom Noy used ask about me. Meanwhile, in my university I met a boy who soon became my boyfriend. He was one of the sweetest boys I ever met. He was honest, goodhearted and understanding. He was always ready to do anything that would make me happy. However, I couldn’t have a “love” feeling for him. In short, I never loved him. He seemed to me more like a best friend. But I didn’t want to break his heart and so continued with the relationship. I knew it was the wrongest thing to do. But I just wanted to divert my mind from the “Noy trauma”. Yet every night somehow this dishonest mind kept asking to God for Noy. I knew though that I would never ever see him again. But God just had to show what he could do. One day when I was driving home from school I ended up almost crashing into Noy’s bike. Thank God nothing happened to my car. The whole thing happened near my house. So Noy got the idea that I lived there. Soon he started coming to my neighborhood more often. He would hang out there with his friends exactly at 12pm when I reached home from school. However, although I started seeing him almost everyday I never said a word to him because I was nervous and at the same time I had this is in mind that I already had a boyfriend whom I didn’t want to betray. But since the thoughts of Noy started bewitching me once again, I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend. I just had to do it because I failed to react to his romantic gestures. And also I didn’t want him to get bored with me. I am single now. I don’t really talk to Noy, but he is always there near my house. Now do you think he is really made for me? Why is it that we keep meeting each other in the strangest places? Sometimes I see him at the mall or car workshop. People say that the color of love is red, but for him my color of love is white. Yes, when I think about him, I tend to take love as totally sacred and divine. It never happened with me before. I had one more boyfriend before I met Noy. But such thought never came to me about him. What would you have done if you were me?
