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I'm way too clingy/obssessive/jealous.
If he doesn't IM me back right away, I get pissed off.
If he doesn't say hi when he knows I'm online, I get pissed off.
If he doesn't text me back I get pissed off.
If he doesn't see me one night, I get pissed off.
When he's talking to other girls, I sometimes get jealous.
But when we're together it's amazing and I forget everything.
Please don't judge me - I know that this attitude is wrong, which is why I'm asking for help/advice on how to change!!!
Grow up. I know that sounds awful, but it's really what needs to happen. As you gain more experience, you'll come to learn that this stuff hurts you and everyone around you.
You need to get to the point where you don't need anything from him. Right now, you're probably depending on him for all sorts of things he can't really provide (like a sense of self-worth, for instance). These things are your responsibility.
Agreed.
A lot of people are like you, it is easy to get angry when you're being "ignored", but what you need to remember is sometimes people need down time, time to be alone or just hang out with their friends. You can't depend on people too much, or at all. He has his OWN life, you may be a part of it, but I doubt you're all of it, sorry.
There really is no advice to give, because these are your insecurities, you obviously get angry and jealous for a reason - and those reasons are probably about fear, acceptance and being insecure. I could be way off the mark, but I don't think so. You need to slow down and calm down.
You need to be more independent. That's a nicer form of "grow up."
Thanks for the comments... I'm realising that I need to become more independant, and make a change before I lose him. Thanks.
I agree with all the advice here, also it seems you are very insecure maybe try and get help with that because it could ruin your relationship now and in the future, take care.
I can relate to how you feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by skye.m
How to change? Find peace in yourself. I know "peace" is such a boring concept compared to love and passion.. but don't be fooled to think that romance and passion will make you happy.
You know that this attitude is wrong. That's a good start.
One technique that works for me... (call it meditation) just think of a great memory, of a time you felt really happy, content. Just quiet your worries and anxieties.. for five, or ten minutes. Then you can remember who you really are... you are not a clingy/needy creature who's at the mercy of every emotion (anger, jealousy, anxiety). You can choose how you react to each thought, each feeling. Believe in yourself. Don't put all the emphasis of your life on your boyfriend. If you find peace in yourself, your relationships will be much better too.
What is the world coming to when I am being chided by this guy about not being nice?Quote:
Originally Posted by Zarathu
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Do that immediately. It sounds like he's already feeling crowded by you if he's ignoring you.
Try to work on doing something besides just sitting by the phone. You need to get some outside interests anyway.
Next time, I'll pull out the belt. :evil:Quote:
Originally Posted by Gigabitch
Ok, guys, question from ME now. My girlfriend is a lot like Skye, what can I do to help change this?Quote:
Originally Posted by skye.m [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]
Meh... It's pretty much in her control dude. You can't do too much to help her. What would you say? "Hey.. I want to help you to quit being a jealous bitch that needs to grow up." (no offense Skye.. no, really)
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What a contradiction. It IS about growing up. Everything you just said makes no sense, sure - you've been hurt before, who the hell hasn't? You're insecure and slightly obsessive - but at times, who isn't?! It is about growing up, because you need to realise that people will ALWAYS let you down, you can't depend on other people to make you feel better about yourself or to give you self-worth. People will leave and people will come as they please, you can't expect that they wont leave you if you nag at them, of course they will leave if you do that.
This is about growing up. In growing up you should become a little more independant and realise that some things are inevitable, whether or not you want them to be. Sorry.