All Men: Please Interpret This!
Here is the situation: I have been dating this guy for 31/2 months and I'm in love with him. He is graduating with another degree in 2 weeks and is looking for a job out of the state. I got scared of getting hurt and letting this drag out too long and tried to break things off with him yesterday, but then I caved in and wrote him this morning. He says he still wants to hang out. My message is at the bottom and his response is up top. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE INTERPREY THIS. IT SEEMS SOOO VAGUE IN SOME ASPECTS. DOES HE REALLY WANT TO BE MY FRIEND? I'M CONFUSED.
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HIS REPLY
You're right about a few things. It's likely you will get hurt again. Thats just how it goes when we are this young and dating era of our life. It's happened to me too, and probably will again. There is no avoiding it, and when it happens it happens. And it's a different feeling of hurt each time.
This might be an emotional week or time for you, and it was kind of abrupt that we sort of decided to cut things off, but I have had time to let things settle a little bit too. I too do not want this to be the end. I have enjoyed hanging out with you too. Very much infact. I feel we have a lot in common and you put up with me and my weirdness and obsessive behavior. In my eyes you are a quality woman. Even though we never made it to the point of "serious commited relationship", it feels like we have. And I will always look at it that way. I may not be around much longer, but that doesn't mean we still can't hang out. And even if I move away, I will be back in Raleigh often and would like to drop by and say hello if I can.
The next two weeks are going to be tough, but exciting for me. I'm almost done, but I will have no time for fun :( This will be a good time for you to "cool off" and take things easy since I wont be available. I hope things get better at work. Just tough it out!! Ok, have a good one.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
MY MESSAGE
Well I've had time to think about things a bit and I realize that it was drastic to end things with you so abruptly. This week has been an emotional rollercoaster for me and I haven't felt well at all. I'm almost certain that whatever is going with me has alot to do with why my emotions are high strung write now.
I also realize that my past experiences cause me to have alot of fear and that sometimes that fear gets the best of me. Besides, I will get hurt again. That's one thing that I can be certain of. Somehow, at some point, by someone I'm going to get hurt again-- hopefully I've learned enough to avoid getting hurt in that way though.
I do, however, know that I enjoy spending time with you and that is something that I don't want to give up so easily. So, if you still want to spend time/ talk with me I would still like to. I will also promise to do my best not to have this conversation with you again until it's time for you to go. And if I do start to go down this road again remind me of what I just wrote. It would take a while to come to this conclusion again. So, please don't let me distract you from doing what you need to do. Keep working hard and have a great rest of the day.
Well here's what I wrote... a little harsh but honest.
Okay let's be clear then...
Well, if you still wanna "hang out" then maybe it should be on a more "friendly" basis?
I was trying to get you to be clear about everything, but here is what I'm getting by decoding your words.
Basically, you don't want anything "serious" with me Ever... meaning there is no possibility of anything. You "like" me, but you either can not or will not allow yourself to feel more than that even in the future. You don't want to even allow that possibility. And that is really what I wanted you to fess up to. If there is no possibility then we need to keep this "friendly" and we should not "hang out" for a while. I'm trying to be as direct and clear as possible here.
If you know you that you don't even see the possiblity of me in your future then you should just say so. Even if you don't leave for another couple of months and know that you're just gonna drop me regardless of anything that could develop, then we just need to make this more "friendly"... nothing physical. And I need to move on.
If your intention has been to just ride this out with me and then leave me hanging as soon as you get a job then I feel like all this has been is a friends with benifits situation, which I would not have agreed to if I'd known better. You got all the benefits. (Not saying you are a bad person, but maybe you just wanted to have some fun while you were waiting to graduate)
Hang out=friends and like I told you before... I can't "hang out" with someone I have feelings for. The bottom line is that I don't want to be around someone that I love and who doesn't love me and/or will not allow themselves to feel anything. Alhough you are trying to be nice, your words are distant and cold. You might as well give me a punch in the should like "one of the guys". This is the first time I've felt this way and still no one has felt this for me, so I still need time to get over a broken heart.
And I swear this is the last long message I send you through Myspace. I feel ridiculous as it is saying all that I've said to you over this thing and over the phone instead of in person.
I don't want to hurt you... I just want you to be completely honest with me and vice versa.
Don't worry about replying if you don't have time... I just needed to get this off of my chest and to lay things out.
Geez that was long....