Remnants

I heard a song on the radio, and immediately it put me in a trance. The words completely connected with me, and made me tear up. I hadn’t felt the way I did during that song for a while. The feeling that I really liked, or maybe even liked somebody… you. It’s the feeling of great happiness and sadness at the same time. The pain comes from you not being here, and me not being able to be with you at this time. The happiness, ironically, comes from that pain. The pain lets me know that I have such strong feelings… experiencing the void that comes from you not being here tells me that I want nothing more than to be there. And to know that I feel that way about somebody makes me happy. Maybe that’s what makes the sadness bearable.

The song made me want to cry because it feels like remnants of a past life. The life where I felt this way. Now, all you have been is gone. You don’t stop to talk anymore, or to check if I’m around. I’ve been denying a feeling that you’ve moved on from this person that you never had the chance to talk to often anyway. I’ve been in denial, and now that I cannot deny anymore, I wish and still hope that my intuition is wrong… completely wrong. The past life was so much happier than this current one. In that life, although the pain was more acute, there was happiness. There were peaks of ecstasy and depression. This one, without you around, is just a dull pain. It’s an aching that never goes away. I ache because you’re not here, and because we have not talked. I hope that these remnants are not forever my ‘past life’.

what's the bands name?

OW, Prodigal. I read that three times. Pretty visceral. Makes me want to call in sick for the rest of the day and just go hide under my covers.