Confused about whether or not she's into me.

I met a girl over the summer while I was taking classes. We hung out and she seemed interesting and had a good sense of humor.

She starts talking to me more online, texting me, and calling me (nothing overboard, but I let her do most of the contacting). Due to our conversations and her persistence, I believed she was into me.

My plan was to not get attached to anyone until I knew enough about the person (bad past experience). I feel I did a decent job of sticking to that plan. I was almost completely indifferent to her until a) she offered to make me soup and bring it over when I was sick a couple weeks ago and b) she called me one night to make sure that I had made it home safely (I was going back home for the weekend). Both are things that I'm not used to and it was definitely something I was attracted to.

So, I start feeling a little bit more for her, but I only let her know that I appreciate what a good friend she is. Some of our chats involved flirting and innuendo, though.

I continue to receive strong signals from her that tell me that she's into me. For instance, she wanted me to help her study for a test. I go to her place and, just as we start studying, my phone rings. She says "Who is that, another lover?" The key word there is 'another'. I called her out on it and she blushed a bit and rephrased her question. We'd also had dinner when I first arrived and we drank wine with it. Even after dinner, she brought out another bottle and continued to refill my glass. At this point I joked by saying "You're just trying to get me hammered so you can take advantage of me, aren't you?" She replied with "Well, you don't seem to be complaining."

So we study for a bit and I hang out for a little while before I said it was late and I needed to get going. She walks me to the door, I turn around and she thanks me for my help and hugs me. While we're both releasing from the hug, I look her straight in the eyes and kiss her. I pull back to see the reaction because there was no return kiss. She's just smiling big and seems nervous. I play it off like it's no big deal, say good-bye, turn around and start to leave. She gives me one last hug and we part ways.

I felt a bit awkward after it, but I didn't wimp out, so there was a little sense of accomplishment. I get back to my apartment and see that she's online. I joke by sending a message that said "mmm tasty chapstick". Then I explain that I felt that she was sending mixed signals and that I figured I'd help her make up her mind. I also said that, if I know I want something, I go for it.

So I don't talk to her for at least 24hrs (I was busy, but also because it usually works fairly well.) The next day, I realize that I'm no longer on the 'top friends' list on myspace (yeah, I know how dumb that sounds, but she had to be motivated enough to change it). Later that day, I send her a text message telling her how busy I've been and asking how she did on her test (the one I helped her study for).

She replied via AIM while I was out, but I talked to her online today. I haven't said anything about the kiss since it happened.

She seems kinda distant now. No IMs, no text messages, no phone calls, and the whole 'friends list' thing.

I'm confused. I was hoping that some of you gals on here could give me some insight.

Thanks,
Mr. E

I think you should just flat-out ask her what is going on in her head. I agree that the signs were all there, so I am equally puzzled. Are you any good at kissing? :shock:

well why dont you ask her about it and get an answer ? thats the only way you really going to know. Maybe she doesnt know what she wants depending on her age.

Good job on the 24-hours thing. That was just right. In fact, it sounds like you've done everything right so far. I can see why you're confused.

Are you available for a relationship with this girl? Sure? Then I think you should call her up and make that offer plainly. She may not know what to think either- all this time it may have looked like you were headed for the Friend Zone, only to have you sampling her tasty chapstick unexpectedly.

Thank you for your replies. It's hear that I've done a few things right.

I plan on calling her, but I didn't have the best day today and I know I need to be in the right mood when I do call. I've chatted with her on AIM, but I'd think it best to discuss the important stuff either over the phone or in person.

To tell you the truth, it's not even like me to kiss a girl so unexpectedly. However, I feel that waiting around for things to happen is dull and I'm trying to get rid of fears that have held me back in the past.

I'm busy with school, but wouldn't mind a relationship with her. I'm not the type of guy who always has to have a girl. I do my own thing unless a particular girl strikes my fancy (haha. who says that?).

Mr. E

Alright, I made a decision tonight. I don't have time to play around, nor do I want to. I spoke to her on the phone about hanging out and got that "nah, I really don't want to because it'd be weird" vibe from her. She had a test to study for and I figured it best to take my time to write her a message to bring closure to the situation.

The message basically said that I realize that the kiss may have come as a surprise, but it was something I felt, so I went with it. Then I let her know that she's a great person, but I sensed that she was uncomfortable with me now.

I ended it with "Take care."

As short and sweet as possible.

So far, the thing I've learned: Chicks are weird, don't get too attached to them until there's something solid (and even then...)

Mr. E

Nice way to end it there. Short and to the point.

Good job.

Seems like you're not too shaken, either. Good form, man.

I wish she would log on now so we could tell her not to be a fool. You sound like a quality guy. I hope she gets her head out of her ass.