I would like guys opinions please. I am dating a guy who seems really smitten by other women a lot of the time (particulary younger). To me it's not THAT a guy looks but HOW he is looking. He tells me I have nothing to worry about but for some reason it makes me irate (I am 10+ years younger than him BTW).
Yesterday we were at a store and this woman (10 years younger than I) was helping him pick out a new phone. He kept looking her over everytime she bent over and tripped a few times in her presence.
After we left the store I asked him "I want to ask you something without you getting defensive. What are you thinking about when you are looking at young women?" "Why" he asked. "Because you seem very smitten by them a lot of the time." He denied at first he was checking any of them out and then said "Are you talking about the girl with the long hair and nice ass?" ("Great" I thought). He told me I was overreacting and that he is not doing anything any other guy wouldn't do. I asked "What is going thru your mind? Are you thinking of having sex with them? Maybe you'd rather be dating a 20-something woman?" He said "I'm just noticing someone is attractive. I'm not undressing them with my eyes or thinking of having sex! There's nothing wrong with looking. If I were hitting on her that would be a different thing." Then he tried to reassure me: "I'm with someone I really like and find attractive. And I like when other men notice you. I know they are noticing because you are very attractive."
I told him I am afraid he is going to leave me in 10 years for a younger woman like he did after he left his ex-wife. "I'm 50 years old. You think I'd be interested in a woman young enough to be my daughter?!" "You already DID date a woman who was young enough to be your daughter," I reminded him (he dated a woman in her late 20s a couple years before me). "I've dated women of all ages since my divorce including my age. Anyway, I got that out of my system." "Out of your system?" I said. "I wanted to date someone young and wild and vivcaious and I got it out of my system." "But you've told me you like younger women and that even your friends told you you should date someone in their 30s which is why you are seeing me. But I still wonder if I'm young enough. What is too young for you?" He didn't answer right away. "You have to think that long about it?" I said. Then he said something like "well there are guys who go to other countries and have sex with 12 year olds. "That's nice. What are you saying?" I said. "I would never do that" he said (he himself was a victim of child sexual abuse). Then he said: "I probably wouldn't get involved with someone under 30 now. The life experience difference is too great."
He told me was really irritated. We have been down this road before and he is really bothered about it and told me it is becoming a real problem. I don't know what to think. I remember even when we were leaving the store he turned around and checked her out one last time. It makes me irate and I don't know what to do.
I guess my question guys is: when a guy is taking such great lengths, consciously or not, to check out other women... is it a sign he'd rather be with someone else?
