OH man, I found this girl I had a crush for a good while now on myspace.
I have posted a similer story to this board awhile back before, but I thought I just post it again, this time it goes way more into detail. so for those who have seen my last topic, you can go ahead and give me advice. Anyway here it is
Many of you may think I'm a stalker after I tell this story, but just to let you guys know, I am alot different now and I am very ashamed of how I was back than. Im here to get the best advice possible.
It was 3 years ago when I was in high school. I was 17 years old and back than I was not that sociable at all and had hardly any friends. So my skills in communication wasn't up to par with most 17 year olds.
This took place in my gym class. I have notice this girl I found very cute and for some reason, attracted to her but I never had the guts to go up and talk to her and the first mistake I have made was just i kept looking at her, this is pretty normal at first when you have a crush on someone but if you keep doing it, it may eventually creep them out and scare them, so this was my first mistake. Although, she didn't seem to notice me doing that as much, maybe she did notice but choose to ignore me and a couple times I did see her whisper something to her friend when I looked at her.
Everyday I would look at her a couple times, figuring out how I can get a dialogue going with her but never had the guts. So one day, I told one of guys I talked to in my gym class about her, so one day, they called her over and I was kinda freaking out about that 0_0.
So she came by and one of guys said "Hey, do you have a boyfriend"? She said " No, why?" Than the guy said "Oh, are you looking for a boyfriend?" she said " No not really"
after that both of the dudes I talked to about her said "Sorry dude". Than I told the girl I had a crush on to "uhh, you can leave now, go go" she turned back and kinda gave me that laugh smile as though she found it a little funny.
So I don't know why the guys had to do that, I felt like it might of be ruined and maybe at that point I should of just let it go. But, I really liked her and I didn't want to give up just yet.
A few days later, I told my friend(the guy I talked to in p.e.) about her again, but only because the semester was over almost and I wanted to find out if she was going to be in p.e. in the 2nd semester. So I asked the my friend to go up and asked her for me because he talked to her a few times before and about me sometimes. She was across the gym so he went to the other side and talked to her for a little bit, when my friend came back she kept looking at me 0_0......
It was really really strange, its like my friend told her something about me and now she kept looking at me like she really liked me or something. I told my friend to tell her that I thought she was the most beautiful girl in that classroom. But than...the next day I RUINED IT!! I BLEW IT and I wish I can travel back in time and fixed what I have done! I have weirded or out and this is how..
The next day, she continued to look at me and I was really really nervous. In fact, everytime her and her friends got close me, it was not intentionally though, I would just walk away because I knew they were talking about me right behind my back, I heard her say "This guy said the he liked me" Than I walked away. and headed to where im suppose to sit down at. she continued to look at me, intill the p.e. class was over and than..thats where it all started to go downhill.
The next day I toughen up and I said to myself "Im going to talk to her this time" but....than...she stopped. She stopped looking at me and everything and a few times I tried to go up to her and talk to her but she would always walk away, sometimes during Lunch I would see her with her friends and I would wave to her, but got nothing in return..nothing..and eventually and I was shocked about this, she told the principal on me.
The principal told me that she didn't feel confortable with what I was doing, he said that needed to stop staring at her and stop trying to pursue her.
At this point I was confused on why she would do this.
And this is where I should of stopped, I should of gotten the message that she didn't like me anymore and I screwed up and only a fool would continue to pursue, but i've always been a fool and said to myself once more "I ain't giving up".
Here is my BIGGEST mistake of all. Although it could of been a thousand time worse and I could of done something terrible instead of doing something flat out creepy.
My next plan was a letter expression my feelings towards her, I was going to write her a love poem pretty much and it took me awhile to put it all together. The first part was an Apology for making her feel unconfortable. This is probably where I should of stopped in the letter if I were to write to her but I didn,t after that I went on on how special she was and how beautiful she is to me and how she makes me feel.
and guess what? I got in trouble with the principal again and guess what? he had the letter I gave her. What do you know. He told me it would best if I was pulled out of that class. The principal said it was nothing serious and he said he just wanted to help me forget about her and move on. I didn't get in trouble or anything thoughtout this whole incident.
and my friend told me that she read the letter I gave her to the whole classroom in one of her other classes.
It was pretty hard for me to move on but I did eventually and along the way, I've met new girls and new people and started to become more sociable as time went on. During the 3 years I have been in a few relationships.
and I've been using myspace for awhile now but than...just recently, I found her profile and to my surprise, she had a boyfriend and her boyfriend looked really familier to me. From that point on, all my feelings for her came back...after 3 years..it came back and of course I've always thought of her from time to time but now....I don't know what to do.
I told my buddies about it and one of them message her "Nothing related to me" saying "Hey I think I know your boyfriend" or something along those lines but she never replied to him, so....she won't talk to anybody she doesn't know and I'd doubt if I tried anything, she would freak out all over again.
I've feel pretty bad about it and I wish I can go back and fix it. I wish I can just explain myself to her. But messaging her sounds like a really bad idea.
But this is where I need help here, what should I do?? and what would happen if I tried to message her?? or do anything? and what would her reaction be if she saw my profile??
