I Love Nola!

This is it guys.

I'm goin' back to New Orleans, LA in a couple of days...let me just cut to the chase.

Amy.

She's down there, and I'm goin' to be seein' her.

I'll only be there a week, and I'm sure she'll be busy for quite a lot of it.

I want some opinions...should I continue to express my interest?

Or should I just act as friends?

To give you an idea, here's her latest e-mail to me...

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We miss you too. Seriously. I hope we get to see you - but even more so, I hope you're not in a ton of trouble. Let me know if I can do anything for you.... like call my Texas mafia connections... hide you in our attic... whack some guy... you know... whatever.

And now for the part I would normally delete:

As far as the rest of the ongoing saga -- Here's what I think:

You don't spend 10 months travelling the country, squished into tiny living quarters, watching sunsets in the keys, waking up to stupid cruise ships, painting civil war forts, gutting houses, going insane, and otherwise having the best time ever -- together - and then toss the friendship.

There are only 8 people in the world, who will ever understand how amazing that year was - and of those 8 you're probably my favorite. So it doesn't matter if we pursue some crazy romantic thing, or just stay friends -- you're stuck with me. So there.

So when/if you get here next week - you're getting a big hug at the airport, and I'm going to force you to tell me all about the last 3 months of your life. And I don't know if that's romantic or friendly - and I don't even care. I'm looking forward to seeing you either way.

Stay out of trouble, crazy. I hope we see you soon.

--ames

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It also turns out that she doesn't intend on staying past January.

It also turns out there's a possibility I might be dropped from my current position (long story) as a VISTA, but I'm not sure.

She's always confused me, because what she typed after what she says she would "normally delete", is everything she never says. She rarely seems able to express her sincerity over the phone, or even in an e-mail.

So what do you think?

Should I just jump in?

Should I wade in slowly?

Or should I just stay out of the water?

I think how we answer is probably going to be a reflection of our own personalities, don't you think?

I would wade in slowly, but I am only a "moderate risk" taking kind of girl. I don't know that "dive right in" would be the wrong answer. I think it depends on how big a risk-taker YOU are. What are you willing to risk for love?

About the position you have right now: I don't know that it would be a "bad" thing if you were dropped (other than perhaps the blow to your ego). This position, while it may nurture you in some ways, is also very limiting and prevents you from doing some other things which I think are important for personal development.

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Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I think how we answer is probably going to be a reflection of our own personalities, don't you think?

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I do agree.

But we have a diverse crowd here and I'd like to take advantage of the fact that some people might touch upon things that others won't that I may or may not have thought of myself.

I have a pretty good idea as to how I'm already going to go about it. But it don't hurt to ask.

And about my position, yeah, there's some shit goin' on that I won't go into, but basically, there's a possibility that I might lose it. If not, I could certainly quit...after all, I'm not even working in the school I was anymore...but I'll save that story for another thread.

Jesus, Fras- do you want a neon sign? Look, life isn't like this for most people. You are a special person with a special opportunity. Even if things don't work out romantically with Amy, you have a connection that most guys would give their right arm for.

You have the capacity to live life at full volume. DO IT.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Even if things don't work out romantically with Amy, you have a connection that most guys would give their right arm for.

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Actually...I think I need that neon sign...because this part doesn't make sense to me...

She cares about you more than most girlfriends care for their boyfriends. She pays attention to what's going on with you. She's invested in you. Amy's more than just "some girl", and it's not like she's some impossible crush you hardly know. You have history, and clearly, it means a lot to her.

You could end up having Thanksgiving dinner with this person in 30 years. I don't want to pull out the Old Bat card, but I'm gonna: Romance is only one part of life. Maybe Amy will be your end-all, be-all. Maybe she won't. Either way, don't dismiss the fact that she cares for you the way I can see she does, because that is rare and precious, as I can see from my Old Bat perspective. It's worth ten girlfriends.

just go with the flow.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

She cares about you more than most girlfriends care for their boyfriends. She pays attention to what's going on with you. She's invested in you. Amy's more than just "some girl", and it's not like she's some impossible crush you hardly know. You have history, and clearly, it means a lot to her.

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I know, that's what makes this all confusing and frustrating at times.

Even if we didn't go the way of romance, she's always going to be my team mate.

And I hate that because I have a relationship with all my team mates that nobody else can really understand, and few experience.

I feel like there are layers to this.

On the outside, there's this thin layer of romance.

Below that, is the friendship, which I wouldn't say I share 4 of the 8 of my team mates.

But at the core is the comradery. The history and experience we all shared as team mates. Which is something we will always have. Should the above two cease to exist.

Regardless, I do not intend on settling for anything less than what is achievable.

You are awesome, Fras. I find your focus and your integrity very compelling, and I'm proud to call you my friend.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

You are awesome, Fras. I find your focus and your integrity very compelling, and I'm proud to call you my friend.

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Wow, thanks.

Really.

Can I put you down as a reference?

The only thing I'm more unsure about than anything else is whether I should keep everything about us on the down low, or just be open about it.

Especially considering my other team mates who didn't know about us are gonna be there, as well as some of her family (for part of the time). Quite frankly, I got tired of purposely hiding this shit a long time ago, I just don't know if she's comfortable with me acting openly about it.

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Originally Posted by Gigabitch [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Jesus, Fras- do you want a neon sign? Look, life isn't like this for most people. You are a special person with a special opportunity. Even if things don't work out romantically with Amy, you have a connection that most guys would give their right arm for.

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Giga knows her shit.

Listen to her.

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Originally Posted by Mathias [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Giga knows her shit.

Listen to her.

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Jeeze, I feel like this is the first time you've ever had a look into the world of my life.

Where the hell have you been??

You gonna give us an update on what's been goin' on?

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Jeeze, I feel like this is the first time you've ever had a look into the world of my life.

Where the hell have you been??

You gonna give us an update on what's been goin' on?

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Hey...

Yeah, might as well.

I'm not hijacking your thread, so I'll make a new thread...my first one outside the BHF (which is a nice, symbolic thing).

But seriously, dude...I'm of the "dive in" camp. Sure, you might get burned here, but who gives a shit? If you're not burned, this could be a fantastic moment in your life.

Life's too short to worry about "what if she..." shit.

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Originally Posted by Mathias [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

But seriously, dude...I'm of the "dive in" camp. Sure, you might get burned here, but who gives a shit? If you're not burned, this could be a fantastic moment in your life.

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I might take that advice...but if I get burned, let me tell you right now, I'm gonna get burned bad. And you guys will be hearing the somber song of my sorrow shortly after I return.

Just givin' you guys the heads up.

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Originally Posted by Frasbee [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

I might take that advice...but if I get burned, let me tell you right now, I'm gonna get burned bad.

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You know damn well that's the ONLY way to get burned.

Good luck, mi amigo.