The weekend without her

It’s been a long time since I seen the glow of happiness on Paula face which feels great to see again. It’s been very hard for me for the past week, couldn’t sleep and couldn’t eat at all. All I had on my mind was Paula and how she made me feel like a million dollars I wished I never turned my back on her at all.

Sunday evening I broke into tears in Paula arms, after hearing my father demanding me to move away from Edinburgh and live with my aunties and uncles in Coventry, now knowing the situation and how it’s affected me. In all honestly I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to loose Paula, and specially my lovely friends and sisters.
Paula said something to me on that evening which got me thinking really hard, she said that we’ll definitely meet again... at that point all was on my mind was is Paula that in love with me that she’ll travel 300 miles just for me, I know its not that long of a journey on a plane or on a train but its still a long way from home. I still find it hard at times not to think about her and her family. I adore her little brother Jamie such a funny yet strange little boy. 

Early Monday morning Standing outside in the rain, Paula next door neighbour Andy caught me standing soaked and begged me to come inside for warmth as my stubborn self I refused several times but in the end I gave in. We had a long chat about how his relationships and how he’d thought that’ll never fall in love again, which is clearly not the situation any more having 2 lovely kids which crack me up.
During our conversation I actually realised why I kept on breaking it off with Paula. It’s very hard and upsetting to say but my dad has a huge part in this, every time I spoke to Paula on messenger or every time I was on messenger! He’d say to me “I hope you aint chatting to that bitch” or “Glad to see that your over her” Honestly I really didn’t want to get caught out and I didn’t want to hear this anymore and in the end its ruined mine and Paula relationship. I don’t want Paula to be caught in the middle of this. If I do go into another relationship in future or even if I do get back with Paula, I’ve promised Paula that the first thing that I will do is confront my dad and let him know how I feel about her.
In the end I have to move on in life, whether Paula will take me back or not I cannot keep on holing on.

At times I think to myself, was Paula the right person to be with, today I could finally say with courage and pride that she was and still is the case.
I alwayed thought to myself is it best if I find another girl to start a relationship, but then I released that I was about to ruin another girls feelings as the relationship would have been a rebound relationship which I do not want anymore. Many people gave me advice on how to over come the situation, some said to drink my sorrows away and some said to sleep around!?! Not gonna go into details there =\. I know wtf!

Today, sitting here on this “lovely chair” I’m thinking to myself am I going to cope seeing Danni and Paula together. It will be hard, which will be upsetting but end of the day, as long as Paula is happy and is stress-free then I shall be fine and remain sane.

Paula is still my life, she might not know this but she’ gave me the best 2 and half years ever! I love her to bits. I will not forget our relationship at all. I love you Paula…

Breaking up with Paula is hard enough, and the feeling is unbearable this is why I want to help other relationship that might collapse or just having problems. So if you do have problems or you know someone that is having a hard time and doesn’t know what to do give me a buzz on 07809561184 ill do my best to give advice.