Confused and feeling guilty
Six months ago my ex-bf (of 16 months) and I broke up. For the most part we were compatible and got along but after about a year it just didn’t seem to be working. I wanted to spend more time with him (we were down to only seeing each other once a week at best) and I felt he wasn't willing to make an effort to be with me anymore. I know he had a lot on his plate but I also felt that seeing me was no longer a priority for him. It finally came down to my unwillingness to take the back burner and his unwillingness to make adjustments to his schedule.
After six months of no contact, I still couldn’t stop thinking about him. During this time period I didn’t date...I felt I needed the break. The beginning of this month my ex-bf reached out to me and we met for lunch. Nothing happened but it was nice seeing him. I sincerely missed having him in my life and was happy to reestablish a friendship. A week or two later he called and after talking for some time, I invited him over to my home. We wound up in bed. You would think I’d be ecstatic over the situation, but instead I feel confused and sad. I keep asking why he was brought back into my life at this point. And why do I still feel the same way about him? I love him but I’m not certain he is “the one.” He just stayed over last night and it felt like old times; there is a comfort level there that I sorely miss. But I don’t know if I want to go back to old times.
It also gets more complicated. About a month ago I met someone on an online dating site. I really like him and would love to give this guy a chance. We’ve gone out a few times and recently had sex. How could I like two men at the same time? I’m really feeling confused and guilty and am clueless as to what to do. I try to justify my actions by stating that they shouldn’t expect anything from me because I have not made any commitments to either of them. However I know that if I’m honest with my ex-bf he’ll be hurt. We haven’t talked about “officially” getting back together but he does ask me if I love him and I know that he deeply cares about me. I’m not sure what the online guy expects because I haven’t asked…I guess I’m afraid to. I’m playing Russian roulette. And juggling these two guys makes me feel badly. Technically neither of these two guys have asked that I be exclusively committed to them. But I know that my ex-bf is not the type to be okay with me seeing some other guy. I also get the same vibe from the online guy as well. But I can’t say at this point because I really don’t know him that well.
I don’t know what to do. Any advice? I still have alot of feelings for my ex-bf but I don't know if he is the one. I could see myself really liking the new guy but I don't know bc it is still too soon.
