Break my best friends heart?? yes/no?
Ok, I have no girls in my life who seem to understand women. So, I turn to you. please help! I'm crazy about my best friend.
the details
We will call her "T"
T was a friend of my roomies, the first night her and I actually sat and talked we ended up at her place going to town. alcohol/intimidation- I did not shine. got invited back and did worlds better
T was going through a divorce when we got together.
T had a BF at the time
T's BF is only in town every two months or so.
I got to sensative and needy and she backed away, we had a falling out and didn't talkfor a few months.
Got back together as friends and over the past 7months or so have grown to be each others best friends.
Since the BF owned his own co ($$$) and seemed to be a great guy (never met him) I decided that if he was good for her that i'd have to keep my own wants shelved. I put her best intrest in front of mine because I don't have the financial means that he does and I want the best for her.
T and I have gone out/hung out/partied on a very regular basis as friends. once in a blue moon she lets her gaurd down and I can see that she has something for me, I don't know if its attraction,sex, or just how many drinks she's had.
When T's bf is in town for more than two days she sneaks away and calls me. I don't know if she misses me or if she's just dying to get out and do something.
a month ago T found out her bf that was suppose to be getting divorced is not. she was devistated. the other night she called me up drunk and angry at him saying she was going to go out and find some hot guy and **** him. She further said that in 07 she was going to be a huge slut and use what shes got to get what she wants from guys. She said further that she was going to keep seeing her married bf but she told him to bring money and presents or he can't come. I thought this was all angry drunk talk until last night when she said she'd be getting a big screen and satellite in a few weeks when he comes to visit.
After her drunken break down I felt as If the love of my life and my best friend had called me from some distant land and told me they were being forced into prostituion. I felt sick. She knows how I feel about her and that night i told her again how much I love her and want her. I also said that I could not be around on the road she's going down. we hung out last night and something was different about her. She seemed almost broken. Laughing having fun but on the border of breakdown/crying. She was looking at me different and I actually caught her gazing at me out of the corner of my eye. the gaze that you give someone that you think is beautiful.
So, I cannot stand and watch a woman I love prostitute herself for this s*bag or for anyone else. I'm going to tell her this but I feel obligated since she's my best friend to help her through this so that she doesn't go through with it and get ripped apart mentally. I'm worried about her and this would be the worst time to leave her as I'm her only real friend (everyone else is bs) but if I stay and she goes through with it I'll fall apart, It will destroy me mentally.
What can I do?
Do I tell her that I can't watch her fall apart and that I'm done.
or
Do I take whatever hurt comes out of this to help a friend get through a tough spot?
