Should I forget or give it more time? (long)
To start off, I'm 19 and in college. I only dated a few girls in highschool and none of them were really serious, but I'm still very aware of what I look for in girls. My situation is really complicated, so bare with me because I'm going to try to be as detailed as I can.
There was a girl I had met once or twice at my school last year and barely knew at the time. She left for a semester and came back and had some classes with me. We immediately became BEST friends and we were always around each other. One day we ran into a couple friends at a store or something and it was obvious that they thought something was up, so later on she was talking to me about it and said the reason it scared her was because she and her boyfriend (from here on referred to as B) had not been technically going out for a few months. They had been going out for over 2 years and were pretty serious, she lived with him for a few months before she came back to my school, he told her he loved her and wanted to marry her and everything. But he had completely changed what he wanted to do to basically match what she was doing, and she didn't want him changing his life just for her, so she said they should take a break from going out so he could decide what he wanted to do. She also mentioned something else about their semi long distance relationship having to do with it, too, because he seems to be the jealous type and doesn't like her hanging around other guys (which is hard because my school has tons of guys) and she is kind of insecure about herself and worried that he'll start liking another girl. So they were taking a break from their relationship, but it was still like they were going out- they still called each other every day, called each other baby, visited each other, and all that. B knew that she hung out with me a lot and I think he got upset with her a lot because of it.
A few days after that, we were hanging out in my room and she started acting weird and left in a hurry. I eventually got her to tell me what was wrong. She told that she had been having very strong feelings for me to the point of where she was doubting her 2 year plus relationship, and it was scaring her (this was the first time she had ever doubted it and she is extremely loyal to him). He had also kept asking her when she was going to start officially going out with him again and if she loved him and everything. She said she knew she loved him, but she wasn't sure how and she knew he was in love with her. It was to the point where she was thinking about me the few times he came down to visit her. I told her that i had feelings for her as well. We both still hung out after that and acted like we were still just friends.
A few days before we were going to have a short break (during which she was going to tell B she wanted to start going out again), we were having a long talk because she was worried and didn't know what to do. It started kind of slow but eventually we started holding each other and kissing and stuff (just tender kissing, but it was pretty passionate). She said she hadn't felt like that in a long time. Eventually it got late and she had to leave, and she said she didn't want to let go. I had a different feeling with her, too, that I hadn't felt with any other girls before. A couple days later we were hanging out at her house with some friends and started kissing again after they fell asleep. When she left for the break, she said goodbye and said that she was going to tell B she wanted to start seeing him again. She said she didn't want to and wished we could have given it a try, but that's how it had to be.
During the break she called me and asked me if I was sure that I really liked her. I told her I did, and she said that I was going to be really happy because she was going to give it (a relationship with me) a try (later on I found out that they had been arguing a lot over the break). The last day, right before she came back to school, she went to basically officially dump B, which I know was hard because she's a really caring person and doesn't ever want to hurt ANYONE, she still cared a lot about him, it was her first serious relationship (she hadn't had many relationships either), and it was the first time she had dumped anyone. She also said she had a strong connection with him because he is the first and only guy she has had sex with (sex is something that she takes very seriously and believes you should only do with someone you really love, and probably the person you plan on marrying) and I believe she's the first and I'm assuming only girl he's had sex with as well (this is also something important to her, and it was another reason she liked me because I'm still a virgin). She officially broke up with him and told him everything when he asked her why (she didn't tell him about us kissing, and I think she might have toned down how much she liked me because she didn't think he could handle it). Right afterward she called me up in tears saying that she broke his heart and he hated her now and said that she was a horrible person for doing that to him. She got to school later and said she needed more time to figure out what she wanted to do and didn't want to be with either of us right now. Later on that night B talked with her over the phone and said he still wanted her back, and everything basically went back to how it was before the break with them taking a break from their relationship and us just being friends that really liked each other.
Things kind of stayed that way for a few weeks. We still hung out, but we didn't kiss or anything, although she said she wanted to very badly. It was to the point where we both knew that we could have a great relationship, but she kept saying that things just couldn't be that way. We had only known each other a few months and after all this we both kept having thoughts of the future (if we were going out), even several years into the future and started talking about things we would do and places we would see together. A couple weeks before we went on our Christmas break, she said that we would just have to forget about each other and she was going to tell him she wanted to go out again over the break. The day before he came down visit her and drive home with her for the break, she came to tell me goodbye, and we started kissing again.
Over the break we both missed each other a lot and we still talked every day, and neither of us could bring ourselves to let go. Her and B kept arguing about petty things, and she started asking me things like what I would do in certain situations (apparently to see what I would do compared to what he did). It got to the point where she was thinking about me more and more around him, and even pretending it was me when she was kissing him. A few days before we had to go back to school she was sure she wanted to be with me, but he stayed with her for a couple days right before school was going to start and she became confused again. When I got back we hung out a couple times and started passionately making out to the point of almost having sex (would have led to that if we kept going), but eventually every time she would stop herself and say that it was time to go. She called the next day and said that none of it was anything I did, but she was scared because she was happy when she was with me. She had been telling herself the whole time that she didn't even think she'd be able to be intimate with anyone other than B, and she WAS able to with me. I told her that after seeing how upset and scared she was the night before knew I would be able to control myself because I didn't want to see her like that again. I still had to get something that I left at her place anyway so we finally decided we'd finish watching a couple of our dvd's but keep our distance. About 10-15 minutes into the movie she got up and said it was time to leave because even though we weren't kissing or anything she still really wanted to and I should go before something happened again. Before we could bring ourselves to leave, we were lying in bed again, and hugging turned into a repeat of the night before. Again she stopped herself and talked about she had to be with B, and that she loves him. She also told me that he had told her that he didn't want her talking to me any more, so we weren't even going to be able to really be friends or hang out any more. Now she's gone up to visit him and will be coming back in a few days.
I still really care about her and like her a lot, but I'm not sure what I should do. Do you think their relationship will last now, and I should just do my best to not ever talk with her (which would be hard because I see her 4 days a week in class, and I'm used to talking to her every night) and forget about her (also very hard, I was not even able to think about doing anything with any other girls when I was away on break). Or do you think they will eventually completely break up, and I should just give it a little time? If I try to start seeing other girls (hard for me to make myself do in the first place), that would probably make her not want to be with me, or at least make her not want it nearly as much. I realize she seems a little crazy, but she was just really confused about what she wanted and cares a LOT about both of us. Also, although I say boyfriend, they weren't officially really going out, and she is not the cheating type. She's the most loyal girl I know, and I wouldn't have anything to do with her if I thought she wouldn't be. This is also not just a temporary physical attraction. I'm sorry for making a ridiculously long post, but it's a complicated situation and I had to try to let you know both of our personalities and how we both feel.
Thanks for the help, I tried to paint as clear a picture as I could. Feel free to ask more questions if you need something cleared up.
