was it meant to be or is this just a phase????
ohhh man, whats up yall, i just signed up, seems like yall bunch of nice ppl, here is my story its really iteresting and complicated...
ok about a year ago i met a girl at work. At first it was nuttin, she would barely say "hi" to me. LOL, i dont know how or when but later on as time pass when i saw her i would always smile and she would too. I dont mean that fake smiles n sh**, i mean when i saw her i had to smile, those cheesy smiles:lol: <--- like that. She would smile like that too, i cant really describe it but it never happened to me with other girls just her......
thats how we met, it gets more complicated
she has a man, they been together for a while (i dont mean months,, i mean year.. and they are engaged)
.....so we were friends just at work thats it but that cheesy smile was soo wierd, ahhhhhhhhhhh... we chilled, hanged out few times it was amazing, i mean i aberely knew her but yet i could of told her soo personal things tha ti wouldnt of told anybody... ok check this, my license gets taken awat for 30 days cuz of this B.S.... my first day of college, my parents droped me off and i was supose to take the bus home, i got out of class and was about to take the bus when she walked by me. i was "Yoooooo.." this and that, she end up taken me home. well, she ended up taken me home everyday after that, once she came to my house in the morning brought me pancakes for breakfast. she made me laugh, i made her laugh and we have tons of great memories together. once, we kissed, i know it was wrong, i didnt wanna do it, it was hard, i was like no, then i looked into her eyes, it was like looking into the eyes of an angel, we kissed, WHOA!!!!! i never felt like that in my entire life, you know it was like magical, it was like.. cant find the word. i really fell in love with this girl, you know. Being around her is like being around an angel, she makes me feel like no one ever did, i mean i changed for her in a good way, i quit smoking cuz of her(i was ina hospital for 5 days cuz on nemonia and my Doc told me not to smoke at all, as soon as i got out i was smoking but for her it was just like ...... pshhhhhh thats it), got my mind right, bunch of other things... and she went out of her way to do things for me and like i swear being around her is like being around an angel... where im going with this as i said, she has a man and she engaged. anyway i told her how i feel, she amazed on what i said cuz i said some amazing stuff (i made her feel like she is the princess and there is nobody better then her) btw she was the one that got me to say that i have feelings for her because she said she had feeling for me too.. anyway, sometimes i felt like she wanted to me that she loves me but she couldnt cuz she wid someone, its complicated... to make a long story short ^^^^ u think thats a lot, thats a short version of it... anyway, her man find out she kissed me cuz it got saved on the pc somehow when i was tlkin to her on aol etc. first he was gon devorce her, it was final but then he ave her second chance but it was like, i was a good friend of her mothers now her mother thinks bad of me, she is not allowed tosee or talk to me... anyway, i saw her in school and we talked... she said that she really misses me, those great and fun days we had, she it is really sorry etc... and then she goes "remember when u told me that u love me and u said u wont be able to love anybody like that ever" so i go yea, she goes "i have this feeling that its fading away and you are acting strange, i have a feeling u was just saying it" and i go "no silly, my love for you is the same as it was if not greater cuz i miss you. There isnt a minute that goes by when i dont thikn about you" (by the way i havent seen her for like a month before i saw her first time in school)
for the past 6 month she is on my mind 24/7 i love her with all my heart, id do anything for her and i know this is a true love..
what do u think i should do????
i mean there is nuttin pretty much i can do, but its soo deep and complicated. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh, sometimes i wish i was never born. i mean my whole life was a BIG F*CK UP, i mean i had a fun and great childhood but end of Junior High and High School was terrible, i went through some tuff stuff, i really had no hope in like untill i met her, my whole point of view changed but its so messed up when i meet the right person, i cant be with her although i know she wants to be with me, its wierd
one part of me says "Leave her alone, she is taken,she is married" and the other says "dont give up, one day ull be with her"
what do u think about this, and what would u do in my situation?????
