Am I insane, and if so, what now?

I've been seeing a girl for four months, but before that we were seeing each other in the final stages of her last relationship. It's going v well, but (I think) because her last r'ship was so long and kinda tough, the rule is she gets as much space as she wants.

That's fine, but there are a couple of problems:
1 I feel like I'm playing second fiddle to everyone
2 Some of that time she needs is spent going for drinks (just drinks, I'm pretty sure) with guys she knows would like to further things, because (a) she does like to flirt and (b) I think she feels the need to feel totally free, even if she does still want me.

I'm pretty insecure but trying v hard to get over that, I just don't know if mentally I can handle it or for how long, because every few weeks I panic that we rushed into things too soon after the last relationship, and that we'll end up the same as she did with her last boyfriend. Any ideas?

personally if you're dating a girl that loves to flirt, she will always be a flirt no matter what. if you get into a relationship with her, she might flirt with others guys but never do anything physical with them. she doesnt really realize that she's flirting half the time and that is her flaw. you should talk to her about how you feel because she might tell you that she'll never hurt you, but in reality, she's done it once before so what makes you think that she won't do it to you? you might be her bf now, but her ex was a bf when you two had something going on. raverboy

So what's the bottom line, Illutional? That I can't ever trust her because there's always the chance that history will repeat itself? Can I afford to think that way, cuz if so, I may as well pull out of the whole r'ship thing for the rest of my days. Thanks for the advice though, it's appreciated.

giving that she is still young and can't really seem to hold down a decent relationship, i wouldn't trust her. i feel that if she can cheat on her last bf with you, you're not that much different. sure you might mean something to her now, but after a while, i'm guessing that she will get bored with you as well and start to seek another relationship. raverboy

Right on the mark again, man. Funny how sometimes you need another person to say what you secretly know before you can do something about it. Tough decision time, it seems. Thanks. Angel.

haha..i think that you shouldn't trust someone like that because they find it so easy to cheat. raverboy

There's no hope of redemption then? Sounds like you have prior experience? angel

it's not that i have had bad experiences, but i would find it hard to trust someone that finds it so easily to cheat on another person. i have never cheated on someone before and i don't see the point. if you're not happy with a person then why bother staying with them? you'll only get a bad reputation and wont' be satisfied with what you have.

there is a part for redeption but that is when the girl is really to grow up and realize that she isn't getting very far in life by constantly cheating on people. sure she might be sex which is probably what she wants, but in a long run, she'll get tired of all these fooling around and what to settle down. raverboy

Here's hoping. Not holding my breath though. Thanks man, good talking to you. angel

Today I am reading interesting letter. I like lady's answers it questions: How is your ability to speak English? What is your outlook on marriage? What do you think makes a good wife? What do you think makes a good family? Why are you looking outside your country for a husband? What are you looking for in a husband? and what is the most important thing a husband can be for you? What do you consider your best qualities? What would you improve in yourself? If you could give yourself one thing what would it be? If you could give your husband one thing what would that be? What do you like to do for fun? Do you have any hobbies? What is your favorite time of year? If you could travel,anyplace where would that be? Could you be happy in a quiet town? Are you happy with a simple life? What makes you happier? love or money? Do you have any goals in life? Where do you see yourself in a few years? Where would you like to be? Why have you chosen an agency to find a partner? Do you know of other people who have done this? Why do you think you would make a good wife? What do you think of American men? Have you met any yet?
It is there:

umm..wassup with all these questions?? this is supposed to be more for information on dating not to advertise your mail order brides. raverboy