Fights w/ parents, Relationship, Breaking up and now a retry? What should be changed?

Printable View

31-03-07, 12:53 AM
LuckyMe

Fights w/ parents, Relationship, Breaking up and now a retry? What should be changed?

Love is complicated, to say in advance, I just really need some opinions on this, and I've got alot to lose. Hence the pretty long story. Maybe it's an interesting read though, to me this stuff has felt like being part of a television show filled with drama so...could be entertaining ;)

Basically, the simple story
I got to know my GF through my sister. By pure coinsidence we seemed to enter a long lasting relationship. It went well but some things have changed.
Fights at home between my sister and my dad were always there, but they've increased lately. My sister and my GF are in the same class at school, they sit next to eachother. My GF knows of this stuff, and she cares alot about it. She tried to give solutions to my sister, but she doesn't accept any. Yet, my sister kept talking about the problems. My GF is a type of person that can worry too much about it. It can affect her mood after a while, and it might have affected our relationship last 2 weeks. Because a few weeks ago, she could hear my dad and my sister having such a fight downstairs. It was a bit too much. We were getting focussed on how to solve this stuff instead of our relationship, and the 2 of us. Now, this weekend, a solution is on it's way. It's a harsh one but it's effective and gives our whole family a bit of a rest. The love feel disappeared a bit a week ago though, too busy with the solution instead of eachother. We thought "if we're still in love though, without knowing it, we will notice it in the following 2 weeks that we miss eachother". Now we both miss eachother again, and we're going to cycle through the park a bit next week. A first date again. What should be changed though?

I've always been a caring person. I've always listened to her, and I want her to know that she can tell anything to me. However in the last period of our relationship the subjects changed into this fights stuff. Because my GF thought of ending the friendship with my sister because my sister tells her about all her problems and stuff and my GF can't do anything about it. And I think it's allright for my GF to talk about this with me. So I responded to it, thought about it with her. Try to come up with solutions.
It removed the attention from having a fun time together, into solving a problem of someone who shouldn't have any affect on our relationship this much in the first place. (My sister and her fights)
Should I have done that?

What helps keeping a nice light fun feel in our relationship? Because we're going to try again but I want to do it right. I've noticed how much I miss my GF now, more than I expected (wich already was alot) and I really would like to fix it.
Some help please?
31-03-07, 01:28 AM
Converse

No offence but I don't know why someone of your age would want to go out with a 14 yearold. :/
31-03-07, 05:02 AM
vashti

I agree that 14 year old girls are generally as emotionally and mentally mature as a 17 year old boy, but they are not as sexually mature, and therefore I wouldn't allow a 17 year old boy to date my 14 year old daughter.
31-03-07, 05:08 AM
LuckyMe

Quote:

Originally Posted by Converse [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

No offence but I don't know why someone of your age would want to go out with a 14 yearold. :/

I became 17 this month. She is going to get 15 in June. I mean, that's 2 years.
All I can say is, when I was 15, no girls in my class were willing to have something because they all were looking for 17/18 year olds. They got them, and looking back the 15 year olds now myself, I see that the boys are actually smaller and more childish than the girls of the same age.

I really hope this isn't a start for a debate on thís subject though. I respect the fact that people have a problem with it but it's not going to change anything. Maybe I can post a picture up of us 2. The age difference sounds bigger than it actually feels like people. And I'm going to adapt myself to her pace, not force her into anything she isn't ready for.

Her parents, she says haven't shown any extra concern about it either. She's had a boyfriend already of the same age difference. 16 at the time but they're both a year older right now.

*sigh*
31-03-07, 05:38 AM
Converse

Ahhh didn't mean to turn it into a debate, I don't know what to say really but I hope you sort things out.
31-03-07, 05:39 AM
vashti

Your post is a little unclear, but I will try anyway. Your girlfriend is a 14 year old kid. She is not emotionally ready to handle the kinds of problems your sister is relating to her, and when she expresses how difficult it is for her to handle, (if I am reading you correctly) you encouraged your sister to talk about her problems to your girlfriend anyway? If I read that right, you were absolutely wrong in doing this, and your girlfriend is correct to protect herself from you and your sister.
31-03-07, 05:51 AM
Converse

It is abit un-clear. I don't think people are gonna take this serriously because of the age.
31-03-07, 05:53 AM
vashti

Basically, relationships are supposed to be fun when you are 14 and 17. If they aren't, it's time to move on.
31-03-07, 05:55 AM
LuckyMe

Quote:

Originally Posted by vashti [Dear Guest/Member you have to reply to see the link.click here to register]

Your post is a little unclear, but I will try anyway. Your girlfriend is a 14 year old kid. She is not emotionally ready to handle the kinds of problems your sister is relating to her, and when she expresses how difficult it is for her to handle, (if I am reading you correctly) you encouraged your sister to talk about her problems to your girlfriend anyway? If I read that right, you were absolutely wrong in doing this, and your girlfriend is correct to protect herself from you and your sister.

(Removed a line, I think it's more clear now. It's the "I want her to tell it so she feels relieved" that was confusing)

My sister and my dad have fights,

My sister tells them to my GF,

My GF says to me that that's annoying because she can't do anything about it, yet my sister keeps talking about all the fights.

And so me and my GF start to search for a solution for the fights at my place. We don't do anything fun anymore. We break up, and I realise I shouldn't have done that last step. I should've been distraction for my GF from all the problems she worries about that aren't hers to start with. Is that true? Or was it the good way to respond to this problem and try to solve it?