i like him..but i may be the rebound...
So after all the guessing about this supposed shy guy, the truth has come out. I am hurt, sad, angry and confused. Any advice would be great.
The situation:
I like the guy and the guy likes me. However, he just got out of a long term relationship and is not sure if he wants to start a relationship with me because he is afraid that I would be a rebound. He say he does not want to hurt me but he doesn't want to regret losing me.
The questions:
1. What should I do? I don't want to get into a relationship only to get hurt in the future. I really like this guy and want to make it work, even if that means waiting. I want to tell the him that I would wait for a real relationship, but I don't want him to think that I rejected him, i.e., i honestly want to wait until he sorts out his feelings for his ex, etc.
2. If I somehow get it across to him that I would wait, should I remain friends with him during this time or cut off contact? I feel that if I remain friends with him, then I can at least help him through the breakup. But there are many problems with that scenario since I don't know how much I can realistically remain objective when hearing him speak of his ex, etc. Also, I don't want my feelings to get any deeper if in the end, he decides he cannot get over his ex and needs time to be alone, etc. I cut off contact, and not remain friends, I would miss him dearly. However, I realize that's the easiest thing for me to do, i.e., just move on.
The heart of the matter:
I just want to know if we could ever have a fair chance at a relationship. I myself took years to get over my last ex. If it is not at all possible to give it a fair go in the immediate future, e.g. within 6 months time, then I have to move on, because it will hurt too much.