feel really miserable...

Don't know where to start. Probably from the beginning. I met the boy while working in the newspaper, we were collegues. I've always felt he is interested in me and at the end fell in love with him. But he never told me or did something to make me sure he actually is not more than a friend.
Now he's found a new job and I've lost a contact with him. For the start when he's left the paper, I thought I'll easily forget him, because we're not in such a frequent touch anymore, but that did not happen. Once we chatted online and he started asking me whether I have someone I love, I told yes, he started asking more and more questions, but suddenly broke up the conversation. I had a feeling that he guessed about my feelings. After this conversation, we lost any contact. Again I tried to forget, but I just cannot. So I decided to find out his new phone number and send him an SMS or something. My friends tried to persuade me not to do it, saying he would have called if he liked me. I don't know maybe they are right.
A week ago I was asked by my friend to go to one fasion show, I refused to go, later I found out that the boy was there too. I was furious. Today is my birthday and I woke up with some new energy and went to work. My colegues gave me some sweet gifts and I was in a graeet mood. But... then I had to make a plan for today's newspaper (i'm an editor here) and had to choose photos from that very fashion show that day, and half of those photos features THIS BOY. I went crazy, I thought even on that wonderful day in my life I'd not be filled with these memories.
I don't know what to do- forget or try to renew our contact. I have no idea, what is more painful for me, and what is the most important part, I don't know what his reaction would be.
I may sound really stupid, I don't know, I hope I'm not.

I think that when you told this guy that you "have someone you love", he took it as you being interested in someone ELSE. I mean why else would he ask about it? I think he was hinting that he was into you but felt he stood no chance only because you were into some mysterious guy.

Honestly, I don't know if you can salvage the damage that was done. But next time, don't be so mysterious and just keep it light and ask the next guy to hang out etc.