Long sad stories...is there hope she will come back to me? (longer version)
I have been with my girl for 3 yrs and a half (our both 1st love). This relationship begins during our college life and we started to date at the age of 18 when we both knew that we love each other despite many obstacles we have gone through. She is a caring, lovely girl and she is my princess I would say. Many guys will easily fall for her because she is cute and got the sweet smile look but she rejected them without giving them hope. I felt secured as I trusted her but I dint take things for granted. She is very emotional kind of girl and cry easily. Each time when she is down she will come to me and I will try my best to comfort her. I cant stand the pain watching her sad. She tends to be too reliable on me but I don’t mind because I m willing to help her anytime when she needs me. All the while we have sweet, lovely and happy moment together including the sad one. I never doubt her love to me before because i can feel it truly from my heart. She did many sweet things for me and so did i.
I remembered last time when we were having a semester break I went to a place far away from her to seek for a temporary job because the pays was good. In my mind that time was to earn money and spend on her. I don’t mind spending all the money I earned on her as long as she is happy but she usually wont allowed me to do so because she want me to keep the money for myself after all my hard work. One day she surprised me when she came over alone despite so far away. That time I was like living in heaven.
After the semester break we continue to have our sweet life again.
I drive her all the way to her working place when she took up part-time job 5 months ago and sometimes we did have lunch together although we stayed about 30miles apart and never tired of doing that.
About 2 months ago she went to UK to obtain degree qualifications which will takes about 3 months to complete. The last 3 months of her education life I would say. At first she thought she might as well wait for me to go together the next year but I told her that it is very hard to continue study once you stopped for a while especially when she found a job. At last she made up her mind and went there with a few of her friends. She felt very hard to leave me and her family. She cried and we hug each other at the airport before she board the plane.
When she reached there the only way we communicated was through the web cam. For the past 1 mth we chat about everything including her breakfast, where she went that day, jokes and all the silly things. She kept telling me she miss me and love me all the while and sometimes she cried when she saw me through the web cam. I again try my best to comfort her although I cant give her my hug when she needed most. I felt so sorry and sometime it makes my tears run down too. She told me that she bought a pair of Nike shoes for me and I was so happy that time.
Due to distance problem and time difference, our conversation is getting less and lesser. We tend to have little to talks about other then how are you today? Taken your meal? She was busy with her work too. There was one time she told me that she gets to know a girl who treat her very well and care for her. That moment I m glad to hear that because I don’t want her to be lonely. I thought she finally found a good friend to chat with when I m not there for her. She told me that they have a great outing together and have some comfortable chat during their visits to Manchester United Stadium. She show me the pictures they took during the trip and I m happy for her.
4 days ago she told me that she felt that our relationship has changed. I felt the same too but I think it was normal as we leave apart now but I believed that when she comes home the next month everything will be sorted out and we will have our relationship back like last time. Then she started to tell me something that hurts me. She said she no longer want to share her sad things with me as she said she can handle herself now. I don’t understand why she said that. I told her that couples should be honest and share the feeling together. I asked her that does that mean she dont need me to care for her anymore. She said something like yes and I started to have this bad feeling. Then I ask her why she need me as her boyfriend since you want to do things alone. She just keep on saying that she don’t know what she want now. I asked her whether she wanted to break up with me? she then asked me back whether can we don’t want to break up 1st? she was afraid that she might regret later…That time my mood was getting worse and my mind cannot think properly anymore because I cant accept that we are close to a point of breaking up as we never even mentioned about this topic before…I said something that I still regret now by telling her that if she want to go I m willing to let her go (which I don’t! even until now). She felt sad and cried. At last we broke up. An hour later I tried to give her a direct phone call and asked her whether she got anything to talks to me…she said no. That hurts me again, and I put down the phone right after that. A few minutes later I called her again and this time I told myself that I m going to talk properly with her and get things sorted out. I asked her whether she still loves me. She then told me that now she is not able to say “I love you” to me anymore….my heart started falling apart. I asked why, why after 3 years we been through you choose to give up on me. She said her love to me is not there anymore. At last she told me that she fall for the girl who cares for her all the while (only 3 weeks). I was like…what? She is a girl! How these can happen? She just said that she dont know but she is happy with her now and prefer her more than me. I tried to convince her that this relationship is not going to work. I try my best to recall the sweet moments we been through and ask her not to give up on me so easily. We make this happen and we build this relationship together and ask her to think carefully. I failed to convince her after 2 days.
Then she started to tell me that our relationships have changed since a year ago. She said she don’t love me like last time and said that our relationship is getting bored. I asked her to give me another chance to make things up. But she didn’t…she just keep on telling me that she is sorry and tell me that she is not worth for me to treat her that good and she is a bad girl. She asks me to concentrate on my coming exam paper and even asked my friend to take care of me
In my mind is that she is really confused, maybe when she need me most I m not there for her and because the one who took her heart is a girl and she never aware of that and accidentally fall for her. It is not possible for a guy to do that because she will turn them down hardly all the time. I m so regret to let her go alone…our both 1st love story have come to an end after 3 years and a half.
She is never a bad girl even after she did this to me and I still love her very much. I understand her loneliness and sadness when she is there all alone. I read her blog that she always mentioned that she miss me and ask me please don’t leave her alone next time as she will be lost easily (this is just 1 month ago).
She is coming back home the next month…..will her love for me comes back to me when she return? maybe after a while? I still cherish this relationship because I find that she is still worth for my forgiveness…..
