My love lives 5000 miles away in Africa. Please help!!!
Hi there,
I'm new to this forum and I'd like to introduce myself.
I'm Jack from the Netherlands, 22 years old and I am currently in the following situation, which is actually a long story.
About 2 years ago I went to Nigeria to work with a charity organisation. I stayed in Nigeria for approximately 10 months, so I am back home for over a year now.
During my stay in Nigeria, I met a lovely Nigerian girl. Quite quickly we fell into a relationship. She is a bit older than me, namely 25 years old. During my stay in Nigeria, we had a relationship for about 3 months, then we broke up for a couple months and the last few months of my stay we were together again. We had major differences concerning fases of life. She had just finished her studies as a pharmacist and was looking for an internship - which is obligatory in Nigeria - for the duration of 2x 1 year. While I still had to finish my studies in Holland which would take me 4 years (on university).
I left Nigeria in june 2006 because I had to start my studies. We did maintain a lot of contact after I got back in Holland although it seemed to go more in the direction of being "friends". I don't really like that idea. I really wanted to see her again, and because she was always busy in Nigeria I asked her to go on holliday with me to Ghana. That was around november 2006.
She said she still had to look if she could get some time off. Around december 2006 she told me that her boss said she couldn't get a week free. Ofcourse I was unhappy about that. Just a bit later we kinda broke up , and she insisted on staying good friends but she broke my heart so I didn't really feel for that.
Now, about a month ago I received an e-mail from her asking about how I was doing and stuff (nothing more, really just some holla) but she brought back all my memories. It took me a month to think about it to call her. So I did call her few days ago and after a long, quite nice, conversation I asked her about her marital status. Single was the answer. I asked her if she would still like to go to Ghana with me and the answer was that she had to think about it. Ofcourse I understand that when I suddenly call her after a year that she can't just say yes.
Also, she is working at the pharmacy of my former host in Nigeria - who is also the boss and owner of that pharmacy/clinic. One of the problems she brought up about going to Ghana now is that she thinks that she can't get a week off, although I told her that I can personally arrange that; she doesn't feel like getting special treatments (it's in her heart, for sure). Also, she has to continue her internship somewhere in October (in Nigeria nothing is certain) which is in another place. If she gets assigned a certain place than she must go there.
So basically, I can go on holliday with her if she agrees and if she starts somewhere in October. I am currently in university but I can take a week off whenever I like.
Please women here, tell me what you think I should tell her? She says she would like to start out as friends again, although personally I can hardly believe that (you know how women are though, they never admit they really like/love some1). Anyhow, I am willing to go Ghana on terms of "friendship" as I am sure that when we are there something beautiful will grow.
What to do with this situation? What can I tell her on the phone? How often should I call or text her? I really have no clue anymore! I need advise! What would you do, as a woman, if you were in the same situation? What can I do to convince her to go with me? Whats the best thing to say?
Please note, Nigerians (and Wes Africans in general) are a bit religious and conservative, so during my time in Nigeria I never had sex with her (although I did have sex with some other girls during the time we were not in a relationship while I was in Nigeria), but I love her so I can wait I guess.
Thank you all for your answers!
Greetz
