Problems with feelings and the past.
Some information before I start.
-I'm a 19-year-old female.
-My boyfriend is 21.
-We live together.
-We've been together for 4 years...yes, 4.
-We've had issues before about him looking at porn.
-We've had issues before about him lying to me and breaking promises.
-We have look beyond it or tried to and we were very happy with each other until last night.
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Ok the story.
I'm out of town at the moment so me and my boyfriend we talking through messenger. We decided to play this thing called "1 Million Question Game", it's just where we take turns asking each other questions until we find one topic to talk about or we can't think of anything else.
So we were playing and I asked him about what crushes he had before me. He said none, but I know for a fact that he was talking to my best friend and interested in her before me and im met. I'm not longer best friends with the girl. But I asked him "Well, what about Wendi?". He said he liked her as a friend. I know that wasn't true because my Wendi told me everything about her boy interests. Then he fessed up and eventually got a around where he thought she was hott, that's why he was talking to her...then he got to know her and found out she was flirting with so many other guys. Then he met me and me and him hit it off.
Then once me and him started dating, he talked to this girl Nicole. I didn't mind but through our online conversation, I found out that he had the hotts for her....while he was with me. That really got me upset. I didn't care about the Wendi thing...that was before he met me. But him thinking of other girls when he had his "perfect woman" doesn't seem right to me.
So he lied to me about not having crushes before me. If I didn't mention Wendi or Nicole, he would of left me thinking he didn't have the hotts for either girls. That upsets me a whole lot.
Then further in the conversation, I found out that he first thought I was hott and that's why her persued me. Then he found out that I was an interesting person. I don't like that. Every girl wants to be like because of their personality first, and not their looks...well, smart women. I never went for looks. There were so many guys who were after me for my looks. I thought he was different. But I find out 4 years later that he was like all those other guys.
Also, I asked him if he thought of any other girls while we were together. He said yes and he swore. I keep going in converstaion and I asked who else. He says "no one". But he just said he has.
I kept telling him that he JUST told me he did think of other girls and also that he's checked out other girls while we were together. Then once I ask who, he says "no one". It just gave me a huge head ache. He kept saying "no one" everytime I asked and I kept telling him that he JUST told me he did. I was so upset.
It makes me feel like I'm not good enough for him, just like most girls feel. I actually wasn't all upset until he started lying.
And the worst part...the whole time I'm asking questions and he doesn't answer. I barely got answers before. I'd ask him a question and he won't answer. I'd ask him to please answer... and nothing. The only times when he'd answer was when I asked "Do you love me?".
What is a girl to do?
I know this is long but it's all the details.
I need help.:(
