what happens next?

this is a long post, please bare with me. :)

i'll give you the background so you might understand the situation a little better.

i've just turned 18 years old.

i met my ex-girlfriend on 1st september 2005.

we were together for just under 2 years. we split up about 2 weeks ago.

the reason for splitting up:

there was a few reasons but the main one is:

me and some friends went a camping trip one weekend, to cut the story short, i have far to much to drink and had taken exstacy, endded up cheating on her (who we will call H) with a girl i had seen around and was more a friend of a friend than anything(we will call her C).

if truth be told it was one of the best times i'd ever had with a girl, maybe it was because of the exstacy but eaither way, we had sex , twice. next morrning wasn't awkward at all. i got home on the sunday night , phoned H and confessed the whole thing, she was very very upset but wanted to stay together. at the time i thought this was impossable and told her i didn't want to be with her anymore. If , at this point you're thinking: 'what a scumbag', you're not the only one.

so i got through monday feeling okay, endded up hookinh up with C again, and again, and again. at first i was okay with the whole thing , i still spoke to H from time to time but it was just small talk. Untill i bumped into her at a club in town. i was with C and it was very awkward. H phoned me later that night and asked me to come up to her house to talk. so i did but we endded up having sex.

so in the last month i have cheated on two girlfriends. everything was going so well aswell.

i don't really know what the whole point of this post is.

there's no advice anyone could give that will sort out this fubar situation.

I suppose the only point is for me to write this down and try to explain how shitty i feel and how much i love H. i've lost everything important to me, its a strange feeling, everything i do now feels pointless becauses she's not by my side experiancing it with me.